A RESTAURANT CRITIQUE
A recommended restaurant with outstanding cuisine,
assurances given by all those who’ve been.
Original menu which changes each day,
value for money so the top reviews say.
So I took the advice and decided to go;
a report of my findings is given below:
Mixed Vegetable Soup served with a Partisan Roll.
Vegetables cropped in a questionable region
afloat in a broth of indeterminate origin.
A kiln fired roll with a rock hard crust,
exuding aromas of yeasty green must.
Lemon Sorbet
To cleanse the palette – well that’s the idea -
unappetising colour – far too slushy I fear.
Slow Baked Chicken with Thyme Jous, Seasonal Vegetables and New Potatoes.
The slow baked chicken was served up late,
the thyme jous wasn’t worth the wait.
Which season’s vegetables? - open to conjecture
not this season’s crop I would hasten to venture.
New potatoes – well I would certainly hope so -
but the colour suggests they were cropped long ago.
Profiteroles with Whipped Cream
Three balls of lard with cream injected
and the chocolate sauce – it looked infected.
Cheeseboard
The cheese looked dry and I heard myself mutter:
‘Not enough biscuits, and where is the butter?’
Coffee with Mints
An elixier coloured a dishwater grey
the aroma of chickory fermented in hay
And as for the mint it was really quite stale
complete with white bloom and as hard as a nail.
So marks out of ten -I’d give it just three
and that’s being generous – don’t you agree ?
-
Author:
Michael Edwards (
Offline) - Published: January 8th, 2017 02:05
- Comment from author about the poem: Well I can't abide fast food restaurants with their junk food - I like real food. But even proper restaurants don't always get it right. Plus another of my watercolours of a local village.
- Category: Humor
- Views: 31
Offline)
Comments11
well,as a restaurant manager/supervisor,retired
i can relate to this !
It is terrible when you spend your hard-earned money on over-priced, horrible "food". Good job Beautiful artistry as well.
I found it witty
Wonderfully written and expressed
Thanks to you all - we've all been there paying over the odds although part of me says I'd rather that than another dehydrated pizza or an indigestible beef burger.
You are a Gentleman Michael ~ but I would have named and shamed ! Loved your critique 10 / 10 for that. I teach "Food Science & Nutrition" and that meal was unbalanced ~ unhealthy and under / overcooked and I guess over priced. The food in our College Training Restaurants is always excellent and the "feed back" we get is always very good or excellent ! Thanks for sharing I enjoyed that ~ the poem NOT the meal ! Yours BRIAN
Wonderfully written! Enjoyed it greatly. -- phoenix
Thanks Phoenix and Brian - I'm actually feeling quite hungry now. Looks like I'd better book into your college Brian - always in London being a Londoner myself.
Terrific use of culinary words. Lots of fun. "Chickory fermented in hay". Great.
Thanks Augustus - can you imagine the smell?
No satisfying you is there? 🙂
I have a digestive system too; I can't be sure, but I think It may be coming out in sympathy.I hope it doesn't become too over active....
Excellent fun write, Michael - I can relate to that.
Cheers DD - It's the so-called jous and sauces etc which I find really funny. Usually take ages to lovingly prepare and then just a few blobs on the plate - never ever enough to make any difference to the dish - only there to make the plate look pretty methinks. What's the point?
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