Bitter sweet
I'm in too deep
Her hair
Her eyes
The way she looks at me
She's not in love
But I sure am
Damn
I'm screwed
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Author:
Naeners (
Offline) - Published: March 17th, 2017 23:07
- Comment from author about the poem: Just a little short story poem I wrote and thought was cute. Please tell me what you think. Constructive criticism is always welcomed.
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 29
- Users favorite of this poem: k_dovexo
Offline)
Comments6
I enjoy it! Fun to read 🙂
Good write, it says so much in so few words.
Yes indeed. Sound assessment. Good work.
Cheers,
Frank
Well I've looked at this trying to find some constructive points to make but I can't. A superb piece as it stands- short succinct and it really grabs.
Love this
Short, vivid and powerful.
Short is good, i think. Poetry is using the right words in thd right order. Ifvyou do this you shouldn't need many.
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