Another Haiku (Writing process recorded ...)

Will Hiltz

 

Endlessly, thoughtless

spring winds ravage my peach trees'

wild crimson glory

 

  • Author: Will Hiltz (Offline Offline)
  • Published: March 30th, 2017 15:27
  • Comment from author about the poem: A haiku based on : Song of the Spring Wind, by Ch'i Chi (864-937). Tx by Burton Watson. Can see the process of writing due to the new feature here, if folks are interested. Enjoy.
  • Category: Unclassified
  • Views: 27
  • User favorite of this poem: Will Hiltz.
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Comments3

  • BRIAN & ANGELA

    Thanks WILL ~ love classical HAIKU which (unlike TANKAS 57577) are always open ended and leave you wanting more ! My answer to that is "Use your imagination and complete the TANKA" In this case i would add (7~7) "Divesting them of blossom" ~ "Leaving them just like scarecrows !" Thanks for sharing ~ BRIAN Please check mypoems ~ Thanks B

    • Will Hiltz

      Thanks, Brian. No time right now to adequately check your poems out, but I will later. I like your additional lines!

      Did this "new feature" of "following the process" I used to write this poem come through in any way that you could find it and view it? The mod or guy whose site this is seems to have set it up, and emailed me about it, so I tried it, but now I can't find the process available for viewing. I'd like to see how it is displayed.

    • Will Hiltz

      I still can't see the supposed log of the changes I made as I wrote and re-wrote this poem into its final form, but I don't know if that's blocked only to the author or if others can see the workings behind the finished product.

      So I thought I'd at least post here the poem that inspired me to create this haiku, a poem I liked, but found - perhaps - a bit overly wordy for my current tastes. The original is below: a four line beauty by Chi Chi (putting apostrophes on this website results in written chaos - there's an apostrophe between the h and the i in the first name), 864-937 A.D., titled "Song of the Spring Wind," with the translation from the Chinese by Burton Watson, found in the book, "The Clouds Should Know Me By Now: Buddhist Poet Monks of China," Edited by Red Pine (a.k.a. Bill Porter, an acquaintance whom I have had the good fortune to spend an afternoon with at his home up in Port Townsend, north of me,) and Mike OConnor, Wisdom Publications. A great book!

      What does the spring wind have in mind,
      coming day and night to these groves and gardens?
      It never asks who owns the peach and damson trees
      but blows away their crimson without a word.

      So - that's my starting-off point, and the haiku formed over several hours.

      Hope that helps.

      WH

    • Goldfinch60

      Good Haiku.



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