Story of my life


If you are wondering if i am alright
Tossing amd turning in the middle of the night.
Can't eat a meal with out putting up a fight,
Barely was in school but yet I am so bright.

The truth of my youth will it send me to heaven?
Almost stolen on holiday when I was eleven.
Took by a man who thought he could have me,
Thankfully with a bang on the door i finally got free.

Only turned fourteen, before things got so mean,
Bulllied at school, wish that I'd never been.
Lost all this weight at a rate so obscene,
I had become one very fragile ill teen.

The put me in hospital, for 'bad kids' may I quote,
Force fed me meals or shoved tubes down my throat.
It happened a lot, bloated fucking shoat,
If only this part of my childhood could be rewrote.

But ofcorse I got out, after time and weight gain,
Hey I'm okay mum, promise there's no pain.
I can't go back there, I am well, I am sane,
As if that hell could have healed my brain.

I hid things well then, for a further three years,
Changed my whole image, masked all my fears.
When bad things happened again, I hid my tears,
No food, just drinking and drugging, everything disappears.

Including myself, seventeen, skin and bone,
Admitted to a hospital, weighing only four stone.
A medical ward, a safety zone,
But I couldn't get better all on my own.

I had no fight, I had no will,
Everything had gone down hill.
I was so weak, so gone, so ill,
Given days to live, that is until..

Doctors, they came, from oversea
After many distressing pleads from my family.
But there is no place here for my E.D,
So off to london for a year they sent me.

Therapists to heal, talk about the past,
Doctors, dietitions, nurses all were vast.
Made friends, felt better, 'recovered', ammased,
And when I was ready at nineteen, I walked free at last.

And here we are now, nine years on,
Life's thrown so much, and I've been strong.
But now I don't know what's went so wrong,
And the question I'm asking myself is, how long?

  • Author: Renzi Mars (Pseudonym) (Offline Offline)
  • Published: June 9th, 2017 04:08
  • Category: Short story
  • Views: 26



    Wow! You have really been through it hun...and, although it was extremely disturbing and sad, you know how to express your emotions quite well. I would love to read something about all the GOOD the 9 years since has brought to you or otherwise. Great write! Keep your head held high and know that everything will happen in the right and perfect way..and, it may sound cheesy but when in doubt, pray to God.. Give him up anything that you cannot bear...He will NOT DENY YOU once you know HIM...take care!

  • Goldfinch60

    Very strong write. Your troubles have obviously made you the person you are and you are now a strong person with most of your life in front of you.

  • Louis Gibbs

    Strong poem, slightly detracted from by a couple of glitches. Do you use the spell-check feature, or self-edit? I admire your writing and your courage, Renzi. Keep going!

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