Dear Andy,
I walked first, you know
even though you were older
and the sun watched
you splashing at the water's edge
and I in my soggy pants
the time before Little Swimmers
making nowhere circles
we ate together at the little table
my chubby legs and patent leather
you kicked off your cowboy boots
wasn't long before we were running
away from Granny mostly
when you had the BB gun
intent on the forest squirrels
and me staying behind
just because I was a girl
but I swore I could be one for a day
a boy with you down below the pasture
you said I could be a girl
later to skin and cook
they almost called the police
two five year olds alone and gone
the river was swollen from days of rain and rowdy
and you were not afraid
climbing out over the river on that huge branch
promising to catch fish
so we wouldn't starve after dark
and I cried girl tears
afraid you would be swept away
and again later
when we were spanked then hugged tight
for daring to slip away to the river
we didn't know how to swim
you said I made a bad boy
and had no inkling of the years ahead
when we would be together again
drowning in addictions
or of the day I offered you a branch
that you would refuse to take
always tempting the universe
your bungee jumps and hotel dives
from the third floor into the pool
you laughing at me for being afraid
because the roof wasn't as far
from the trampoline as I thought
and years went by
and I dared you to do better
weeping those girl tears all over your lap
you were mad as hell but too unsteady to fight
when I wouldn't let go of your hands
but I knew you well enough
you didn't want me to smell your fear
so I thought of you today
when there were 12 candles on your motorcycle cake
and the lifeguard's whistle around your neck
you bragging about how you always got to see
fireworks over the ocean on your birthday
and that my husband said I shouldn't have
when I went to the open bag
and kissed your cheek
with your eyes closed that way
as more time ticks by I hope
to become more eloquent
shaping the memory of you into something smooth
birthing the poem
that has been lead in my chest
for eleven terrible years now
but in the smoke of your 42 candles
this is all I can bear to give
Love you always,
Raggedy Ann
(I know, I'm such a girl)
-
Author:
Heather T (
Offline) - Published: June 30th, 2017 14:21
- Comment from author about the poem: He was always Andy to my Raggedy Ann. My first cousin, only four months older. He passed too young in April of 2006. This is just a brief smattering of our epic adventures. He would have turned 42 this Monday.
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 55
Offline)
Comments5
Such a beautiful tribute. I am sure he is smiling down on you, maybe even laughing at the memory of the stupid things we do as kids. Very touching and emotional, reminding me of my best friend who died of cancer.
I hope your memories brought smiles with your tears, too. Thank you for allowing me to share.
So beautifully written. Tugging at my heart strings. God bless you and cheers to the day you meet again 💜
I'm excited for the day! Blessings back at you, and thank you.
Those beautiful Andy memories will stay right inside for time immemorial and you will smile every time you remember that runaway adventure when you cried Raggedy girl tears - - keep birthing words of this calibre dear Heather knowing nothing ends family love.
You are so right, Ms. Fay. Nothing in the world could dampen it. I am always so happy to see you here. Thank you.
Such a sad read but so beautifully written.
Thank you so much, Michael. I'm sorry to be so late on replies.
Very good write, some people are just so very special to us as he obviously was to you.
He was, GF. He was. Thank you, and my apologies for late response.
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