Fits tune: Love Unknown
('My song is love unknown')
John 8 v.1 - 12
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1. Gracious and merciful
The Lord acted to all
When woman [in] adultery
Committed, here see
Though law's demands
Means death by hands
To stone such one
It should be done
2. This said to tempt Him sore
And to accuse Him more
But Jesus to ground stooped
He would not there be duped
Wrote on the ground
As though no sound
Heard He from them
Who did condemn
3. Questionings continued
And then events ensued
Jesus did lift up self
Spake to them with no stealth
He who without
Sin, with no doubt
Let him first stone
Cast of his own
4. Then Jesus stooped again
Wrote on the ground too then
And they which His word heard
Were from stones throws deterred
Conscience them smote
Recognised mote
In their own eyes
This truth, no lies
5. Jesus to woman said
Where are they who have led
You to me, accusers
They to me made refers
Has none condemned?
And outcome, end
They all are gone
Each man, each one
6. Nor do I condemn you
Go, live in paths good, true
And sin no more, desist
Temptations do resist
For I the light
For each one's sight
Light of the world
Love's beam unfurled
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Author:
orchidee (
Offline) - Published: July 5th, 2017 11:00
- Comment from author about the poem: A hymn-poem in 6666 4444 metre.
- Category: Spiritual
- Views: 46
Offline)
Comments5
A beautiful song. I hope you continue to write. I would usually write a critique and tell you your strengths and your weaknesses, but in this case I am not qualified. I am quite bad at reviewing songs, and writing songs. However, If I were to grade this song I would give it a 9/10. It fits the tune really well and I like it. I invite you to come and look at my poem(s), and tell me what you think of them. I always invite critiques.
Thanks S. Well, I can't write music! A tune may come to me, and then I fit words to it. I also write some 'spoken' poems, that are not songs.
Maybe you can read it them as 'spoken' poems. Depends if you know the tune or not, I suppose.
Also, reading them from a poetic angle alone, if you're not particularly 'religious' or 'spiritual' - or maybe you are?!
Critiques, yes. As long as not like someone elsewhere, not on this site, who slagged off everyone with 'I don't care for this poem', or 'Not a lot in this poem'. But it was a sort of nasty troll person doing that.
Well I read yours strictly in poem form and they always read so well to me but you know that as I am only repeating myself.
Thanks M.
Another good one Orchi.
Thanks G/F.
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