FredPeyer

A Whole Lot of Work

A small red bicycle

Lying forlorn in the dirt

The torn off head

Of a once beautiful doll

Cradled in the roots

Of the old tree

Still holding on to

A rusted broken swing

 

The wind blowing sand

Across the deserted porch

Slamming the screen door

Against its sagging frame

Rattling the loose tiles

On the dilapidated roof

Creating a sad symphony of

The house I used to live in

 

My life is much the same

As that old broken down house

Waiting to be rebuilt

To shine like new

Bask in its old glory

All it will take now

Is a bit of courage

And a whole lot of work

Comments11

  • Michael Edwards

    Painted a picture in my mind and ended with a smile after the last three lines - great work Alfred

    • FredPeyer

      Thank you Michael, the last three lines are really what this is all about!

    • MaddieJ

      I really loved the imagery you created with this poem. All of the senses are tickled! Good job!

      • FredPeyer

        Thank you virago, I do appreciate your comments!

      • burning-embers

        Evocative. You should see the tumbledown mess i love in. I know exactly wheres you coming from in this. I read it thru a couple of times picturing that jumble. All that work ahead and time to write too? Can i have one of your 36hour clocks please.

        • FredPeyer

          Haha, good one. Don't have 36 hour clocks, but as I get older I don't seem to need as much sleep anymore. Leaves a little bit extra time to write.

        • onepauly

          does that mean to erase everything above those three lines? sometimes what we mean may not mean the same thing to another. I liked everything above those three lines. for me (not you)this body of mine got old to quickly with all the chemicals I did years ago. I'm ashamed to say what. but these days I feel very weak. with this body and heart. I have my mind and although it is very different then others. I feel to use it to compensate for my body. I love looking into my past. I take delight in it. to me its right here. I just got from someone an inspiration to write a book about living off the land. with no income. fishing, scrap metal. gold in the streets. living in a tent. bread was very cheap. I'm going to use my mind going back there and tell about my adventures. do you want a copy of the book? ha! ha!

          • FredPeyer

            The idea for this poem actually came when I looked into the mirror, no kidding. The outside is starting to look like it needs some work, just like an old run-down house. Maybe it's only cosmetic. Better food, less wine, and starting up my five tibetans again. Plus some weight workouts, and I should be as good as new. I can dream, can I not?

            • onepauly

              dream, dream, dreaming is good, it can help us solve problems.
              former body builder paul.

            • Goldfinch60

              Very good write and imagery. I do hope that you can find the courage to do the work. I am sure that many on here will support you.

              • FredPeyer

                Thank you! And I will need all the support I can get. Working out right after getting up in the morning is a bummer, but I guess I don't have much choice.

              • Fay Slimm.

                Love the positive ending to this engaging and imaginative verse - - good imagery too Fred.

                • FredPeyer

                  Mahalo Fay. Sometimes I do feel like an old run-down shack. But the plumbing and electricity are still in top shape. 🙂

                • Renzi

                  I invisioned this wee house in my mind. And i believe in you. Believing is becoming ❤

                  • FredPeyer

                    Thank you Renzi, at least somebody believes in me 🙂

                  • Louis Gibbs

                    These bodies may be a "sad symphony" of our former selves, but the mind and soul grow endlessly, don't they. Great imagery in this one, Fred! Loved it.

                    • FredPeyer

                      Thank you Louis. You are right, there are no boundaries for the mind and soul. All the beautiful and stimulating poems on this site are proof of that.

                    • malubotelho

                      I got a bit confused with the beginning. I was not sure what you were talking about but later I've got the message. In the beginning seemed to me that old house was a scenario for a crime like on the movie The shack. I loved to read your poem. Thank you.

                      • FredPeyer

                        Thank you Malu, I did not want to give it away in the first few lines. Not true! A lot of times, no, most of the time, when I start writing I have no clue where it will lead me. As I mentioned to Paul, the idea for this one came to me when I was looking into a mirror. But the initial idea was just to compare bodies to houses. Have no idea where that came from though.
                        Love your comment about a crime scene. That might be inspiration for something in the future.

                        • malubotelho

                          Yes, it happens to me too. Out of nothing I create something.

                        • Tony36

                          Great write, I could see it as I read it. Well done

                          • FredPeyer

                            Thank you Tony, writing for myself is nice, but having others read it and appreciate it is the icing on the cake!

                            • Tony36

                              I know the feeling

                            • ShannonXx

                              Great use of words! A very vivid picture came in my head when reading this, really enjoyed it

                              • FredPeyer

                                Glad you could imagine it Shannon. While I compare myself to that old run-down shack, you evoke more the picture of a brand-new beautiful house on the beach!

                                • ShannonXx

                                  Aww that's so sweet, thank you 🙂



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