Felt

You know sometimes you find it ok and find pride in saying that you don't feel anything but inside you know its a bad thing

You wanna feel but at the same time you don't because.. when you felt you had a belly full of pills

And when you felt you wher hanging from a belt

And when you felt you were one foot away from taking your breath away

But you know you want to feel but everytime you do everything ends for the worst and never for the better because when you felt
 
You had a knife up to your neck

And when you felt you had bruises on your back

And when you felt you got slaped across your face

And when you felt you were laying down in pain to suffer the fact you had to hide to suffer the fact when you let it out no one took it seriously because your to young to feel what sad really is

When you felt you scratched the skin off your legs because you cared to much the thoughts in your head where to overwhelming at the time just adding that one more was your edge

When you felt you always knew you would feel again

You felt when you walked around the room trying to act like someone else knowing inside  your not

You felt when you  lay in your bed pounding your head saying stop when it was only you

You felt when your learn that you feeling isn't ok even know thats what people do every single day

Sometimes you don't even wanna get out of bed knowing that there is nothing to do knowing that you don't wanna deal with you knowing that you will cry on the inside or on the outside everyday it never fails but you do and you try to manipulate yourself everyday that you are absolutely okay

You hate that people don't see pain in everyone because of there age but at least you know but thats not enough to survive

When you're in the moment you feel that it's best that you go away because everyone will be better throughout every day without you because of all the words they say and it will take off a lot of pain after going through the worst pain of all when you have your two feet in the grave rest in peace they say but really you're still probably screaming you never know when it ends but you want to take that risk maybe it will end after

But at the same time you want to let people know that you don't want to go you don't want to leave this universe that was a gift to you UNI verse uni is a word that means one verse in the word for song UNI verse as in one song One Life is only one song the the rhythm of your heart the rhythm of your feet that was placed on this Earth around you

You can not waste it you have so much to live for I wish I can believe that for myslef one day I will or maybe never but Ill die trying

But of course Im afraid of feeling because I'm juge for it hit for it yelled at for it locked up for it
It makes you far away from that one feeling you don't catch for a whole day happiness maybe Im running to fast and keep passing it and Im running to the wrong direction straight to my grave I have no time for errands

Everyone feels but not everyone survives

Copyright ©2019
Tia Davis.All Rights Reserved.
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Act, 17 U.S.C. S512(c)(3),Tia Davis.