From the window, I watch the sky
As the stars twinkle in the night
Flickering as if dancing to the beat of a drum
As I grew older, the sky changed
The little dancers lost their magical aspect
All hope had been lost
But right as I gave up on the night
One dancer began dancing
As if the drum started to beat suddenly
For hours it danced until the sun rose
Finally, the star went to bed
Still I sit, watching the sky
Listening for the drum and for my old friend to return
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Author:
moonwriting (
Offline) - Published: July 14th, 2017 12:28
- Comment from author about the poem: This poem is not only classified as love because it may be interpreted in many different ways. I hope you all enjoy it, please leave comments to critique if needed.
- Category: Love
- Views: 46
Offline)
Comments8
I like the free verse style of no initial rhyming scheme. The title is amazing, and what follows is also great. I don't really see this as love. I see it as a deep and profound appreciation for the star that never stopped shining. Bravo.
Thank you, I am glad you enjoyed, this is my first published piece.
You're off to a good start. Read some poetry, gain some experience, and publish an even more marvelous piece. We're all here to help each other. Welcome to the "Flock" as some of us like to call it. Haha.
Welcome to the site moonwriting!
Judging from your moniker, you must have been writing this at night while watching the sky.
Beautiful writing. I like the flow, how you go from young to older, childhood to adulthood, where perceptions change from the magic of a little child to the skepticism of an adult.
I may be way off here, but this is what I felt.
I am glad you enjoyed! Although this piece has its personal meaning to me, it may be interpreted many different ways based off of the reader so there is no "incorrect" way of viewing it.Thank you for the welcome.
Thanks FRIEND ~ love your first poem and its Dance of Love. Rhythm in a Poem is much more important than Rhyme ! Your poem pulsates with Rhythm which complements the theme ! I am sure your Friend will return ~ I know I would ! Yours ~ BRIAN (UK)
Thank you, I appreciate the kind words.
That drum will always call you and your friend to rise again. Good write. Welcome to MPS.
Thank you so much.
Though it’s an old post
But I am new to it
It’s deep
Enthralling with beauty
For the yearn for the star which kept shining
For the hope for return of it
And the beauty of star which danced to the drum
And the title is so adept
Lovely writing ! 🙂🙂
I checked back to discover where you have come from .. and I was not disappointed .. ink well spilt in my humble opinion ... Neville
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