OPHELIA
Voiced with deafening tongues of silence
troubles ploughed yet furrow trapped
as chalk that moves on slate defines
his heart in black beat out a pulse
with chords that played no tune.
Held tight in grasp of circumstance
suspicion wore an old patched coat
and with the wings of summer gone
for them the cradle never rocked
and time wove fading tapestries.
Unlike the flowers at petal fall
when swallows in the autumn fly
her face displayed in early bloom
as in the pool she laid supine
held siege within a Millais frame
and hearing not the drip of tears.
-
Author:
Michael Edwards (
Offline) - Published: July 17th, 2017 00:01
- Comment from author about the poem: Finished at last. The outcome from the previous two 'Work in Progress' postings. The inspiration behind it all was Hamlets reaction to and the death of Ophelia. I have also made reference to Millais and if you are not familiar with it he painted a famous pre-raphaelite painting of Ophelia as she lay dead in the water. it is on display at Tate Britain in London. As a member of the Tate I have seen the painting many times and it has to be one of my top favourites of all time. Only hope I've done it justice.
- Category: Unclassified
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Comments6
The painting is lovely Michael. I'm not much for Shakespeare - original or retold (philistine), but the pic is very nicely done, IMO.
Glad you like it Frank
A fine write and pic M. Did Shakespeare say anything about 1066? heehee.
No but he did give a speech at about 12.45 just before he had lunch
Ahh, so he didn't say anything about 1066 though! lol.
1 more comment
Super picture and you captured with imagery the haunting feel of Millais's deceased Ophelia. Great stuff Michael.
Thanks Fay
Michael, this time I have to admit
I was captured by your painting quite a bit
Even though your poem is great
your picture is evem better.
How much do you charge for one of these originals?
So pleased you like my work. As for costs I will send a PM later - there is a reason for this which I'll explain
Thanks you MICHAEL for sharing the process of "writing a poem" with us. I have saved my comment to the last. Having had a Classical Education ~ in Literature and Art I was familiar with the illusions to OPHELIA (which is your final title) and of course Millais' famous painting. I am a Performance Poet so for me RHYTHM is more important than RHYME. Because you rejected rhyme you were able to juggle the 21 lines in VERSION ONE to 19 lines in TWO and 16 in version THREE ~ where you also introduced some new lines ! Also in TWO you versified the Poem into a 6 7 6 line pattern and finally in three into a 5 5 6 pattern. I do point out to people who ask that the number of lines in the verses can vary as long as each verse makes sense. Some classical forms have strict versification ! We all have to remember that POETRY started as a ORAL tradition therefore it had to be REMEMBERED and RECITED hence the evolution of rhyme ~ rhythm ~ repetition. You final draft is BLANK VERSE ~ the verses make sense and it is recitable ! Thanks for bending our minds ~ BRIAN Personally (but I'm not an artist) I would have included MILLAIS' painting with the final draft ~ you still could ~ but as others have commented yours is equally effective ~ B.
Brian thanks so much for all your comments. I think it’s probably worth making the point that Version 1 wasn’t really a version art all – it was merely a collection of disparate ideas around a central theme. Version 2 was a means of pulling together these ideas into some semblance of order before actually ‘writing’ the poem.
In the final poem I am not so much concerned with syllables or line count etc as I am with rhythm/metre. I want the poem to flow when it is read without any hiccups – this creates quite a challenge when you have an idea in mind but can’t seem to get the flow right. This was the case with the very last line which didn’t read right until I stumbled on the line as now presented. I couldn’t seem to get away from : 'She heard the drip of tears' which simply didn’t go with the preceding line.
On reflection perhaps I should have gone with the Millais picture but this would have broken away from my own tradition of only posting my own work.
Thanks for all this interesting learning. I'm amused by your work, both painting and writing. My senses are in ecstasy with the perfume of your art.
Thanks M, so glad you enjoyed the sniff 🙂 🙂 🙂
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