Michael Edwards

OPHELIA

 

 

OPHELIA

 

Voiced with deafening tongues of silence

troubles ploughed yet furrow trapped

as chalk that moves on slate defines

his heart in black beat out a pulse

with chords that played no tune.

 

Held tight in grasp of circumstance

suspicion wore an old patched coat

and with the wings of summer gone

for them the cradle never rocked

and time wove fading tapestries.

 

Unlike the flowers at petal fall

when swallows in the autumn fly

her face displayed in early bloom

as in the pool she laid supine

held siege within a Millais frame

and hearing not the drip of tears.

 

 

 

 

Comments6

  • Frank Prem

    The painting is lovely Michael. I'm not much for Shakespeare - original or retold (philistine), but the pic is very nicely done, IMO.

  • orchidee

    A fine write and pic M. Did Shakespeare say anything about 1066? heehee.

    • Michael Edwards

      No but he did give a speech at about 12.45 just before he had lunch

      • orchidee

        Ahh, so he didn't say anything about 1066 though! lol.

      • 1 more comment

      • Fay Slimm.

        Super picture and you captured with imagery the haunting feel of Millais's deceased Ophelia. Great stuff Michael.

      • FredPeyer

        Michael, this time I have to admit
        I was captured by your painting quite a bit
        Even though your poem is great
        your picture is evem better.
        How much do you charge for one of these originals?

        • Michael Edwards

          So pleased you like my work. As for costs I will send a PM later - there is a reason for this which I'll explain

        • BRIAN & ANGELA

          Thanks you MICHAEL for sharing the process of "writing a poem" with us. I have saved my comment to the last. Having had a Classical Education ~ in Literature and Art I was familiar with the illusions to OPHELIA (which is your final title) and of course Millais' famous painting. I am a Performance Poet so for me RHYTHM is more important than RHYME. Because you rejected rhyme you were able to juggle the 21 lines in VERSION ONE to 19 lines in TWO and 16 in version THREE ~ where you also introduced some new lines ! Also in TWO you versified the Poem into a 6 7 6 line pattern and finally in three into a 5 5 6 pattern. I do point out to people who ask that the number of lines in the verses can vary as long as each verse makes sense. Some classical forms have strict versification ! We all have to remember that POETRY started as a ORAL tradition therefore it had to be REMEMBERED and RECITED hence the evolution of rhyme ~ rhythm ~ repetition. You final draft is BLANK VERSE ~ the verses make sense and it is recitable ! Thanks for bending our minds ~ BRIAN Personally (but I'm not an artist) I would have included MILLAIS' painting with the final draft ~ you still could ~ but as others have commented yours is equally effective ~ B.


          • Michael Edwards

            Brian thanks so much for all your comments. I think it’s probably worth making the point that Version 1 wasn’t really a version art all – it was merely a collection of disparate ideas around a central theme. Version 2 was a means of pulling together these ideas into some semblance of order before actually ‘writing’ the poem.
            In the final poem I am not so much concerned with syllables or line count etc as I am with rhythm/metre. I want the poem to flow when it is read without any hiccups – this creates quite a challenge when you have an idea in mind but can’t seem to get the flow right. This was the case with the very last line which didn’t read right until I stumbled on the line as now presented. I couldn’t seem to get away from : 'She heard the drip of tears' which simply didn’t go with the preceding line.
            On reflection perhaps I should have gone with the Millais picture but this would have broken away from my own tradition of only posting my own work.

            • Michael Edwards

            • malubotelho

              Thanks for all this interesting learning. I'm amused by your work, both painting and writing. My senses are in ecstasy with the perfume of your art.

              • Michael Edwards

                Thanks M, so glad you enjoyed the sniff 🙂 🙂 🙂



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