FredPeyer

On the Bus

The old man

Huddled quietly

Into the bus seat

Tightly holding on to

A tired bouquet

Of wilted flowers

 

With sad eyes

Looking small and

Forlorn in wrinkled

Coat and pants

The flowers

Mirroring him

 

A slow sigh escapes

The wounded face

Eyes blindly staring

At nothing

Old lips moving

Without sound

 

The bus stops

He shuffles out

Carefully holding on to

The flower wannabes

Towards the gate

Of the cemetery

Comments12

  • Fay Slimm.

    A picture painted so well here of many left now on their own and not knowing what to do with life any more - a sad fact but appealingly written from a poet's caring observation.

    • FredPeyer

      You know Fay, I realize that I am probably more of a story teller than a poet. But I try. Thank you for your comment.

    • Goldfinch60

      Beautiful write with wonderful imagery.

      • FredPeyer

        Thank you Goldfinch, I am so glad you liked it.

      • Michael Edwards

        Oh this really takes you there - so full of sadness yet so beautifully written - a favourite for sure

        • FredPeyer

          Thank you so much Michael, I really do appreciate your comments!

        • Renzi

          Ahhhh i read this and imagined ever ouce of it in my head. Sad and beautiful, thankyou x

          • FredPeyer

            Whenever I take the bus, which is very seldom, I do watch the people and sometimes try to guess what they are doing, where they are going, etc.
            That old man in the poem is pure imagination though.

          • Heather T

            Your last lines were felt in my stomach. The sad condition of both man and bouquet speaks volumes about his lonesome days. Bravo.

            • FredPeyer

              Thank you Heather! Anytime a poem elicits feelings is a great day for me. Isn't that what we all want? Be it a laugh, or sadness, it doesn't matter, but we have touched someone.

            • burning-embers

              A sad part of life recounted here in mournful colors.

              • FredPeyer

                Unfortunately, b-e, there are too many lonely old people out there!

              • Louis Gibbs

                Brilliant ... you had me from the time he got on the bus all the way to the grave yard! This one is a favorite for sure. Your work continues to inspire me, Fred.

                • FredPeyer

                  Thanks Louis, you are making me blush....no wait, must be the sunburn!

                • orchidee

                  Sensitive write Fred.

                  • FredPeyer

                    Thanks orchidee, even old guys can be sensitive, compassionate, and emphatic, at least once in a while. :-)

                  • WriteBeLight

                    That is pretty darn good! Although poignant. Love how you put that he resembles the condition of the flowers.

                    • FredPeyer

                      Thank you so much WBL, yes I don't know exactly where that came from. In my mind I saw the resemblance between the flowers and the man and felt that it fit.

                    • Candlewitch

                      dear Fred,

                      this poem hit me hard...tears. great work!

                      *hugs, Cat

                      • FredPeyer

                        So sorry Cat, didn't mean to hit you, or make you cry! Thank you for reading and commenting.

                      • orchidee

                        Now, now - surely you're not THAT old! Erm, I was gonna write a similar poem (was I?! heehee) but I missed my bus! lol.

                        • FredPeyer

                          I missed my bus a few times too! Couldn't find the bus station, then couldn't remember the number, so I went back home and had a glass of wine!

                        • Elsie

                          This is such an evocative story. Powerful in its simplicity. I am finding myself wondering about his life and what brought him here.

                          • FredPeyer

                            Thank you Elsie! I do like it if readers find something in a poem that appeals to them, or makes them think. Mahalo!

                            • Elsie

                              Absolutely! And you have written some lovely pieces, I am catching up slowly!



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