THE DESTITUTE

Michael Edwards

 

 

THE DESTITUTE

 

By fortune rendered dispossessed

the lines of misery on display

with sallow features drawn in dust

like dying embers ashen grey.

 

With destitution’s excess reached

the victim of afflictions will

on him life’s notice now bestowed

in huddled form he sits there still.

 

 

 

 

  • Author: Michael Edwards (Offline Offline)
  • Published: August 16th, 2017 00:00
  • Category: Unclassified
  • Views: 73
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Comments +

Comments8

  • FredPeyer

    Michael, you are good! I really like this one. Agree with Santita about line 3 in the first stanza, but would add line 4 to it as well. Hope you are enjoying your coffee after all that hard work and deep thinking!

    • Michael Edwards

      Coffee drunk - now drawing parts of a plant with grandson - few moments respite while he shows his work to grandma >

    • Goldfinch60

      Wonderful pictures in both words and painting Michael.

    • Nicholas Browning

      The most pleasant thing about this is probably the lack of commas. It sets the pace for a reader individually. Nice.

      • Michael Edwards

        Thanks Nicholas I always think there are two rules - either use punctuation throughout or not at all. The exception (and only rarely to be used) is perhaps where you want to create a natural break for clarity and to assist in reading it aloud or where you need to indicate missing letters (as in they're for example). There is nothing worse than to see punctuation used incorrectly. And all this before I get on to where incorrect words are used (as in there instead of they're or vice versa - for example). Sorry - I'll stop there but I could go on and on.

        • Nicholas Browning

          It is a bit annoying to see it used the wrong way. Though I think it sets a definitive tone to a piece of writing. Letting the reader decide the pace isn't bad, and by no means a shy value to hold. I think it's clever in its own way. I was going to say "Punctuation", but it sounded rude in my head haha. Anyways, nicely done.

        • orchidee

          I hardly use commas myself, except where necessary. In this case: A, fine, write, and, pic, M. No need to overdo commas, Orchi! lol. Cooeee, first UK poet of today.

          • Michael Edwards

            Only when chasing butterflies eh what Orchi !!

          • Louis Gibbs

            A splendid piece of free verse it is, Michael! Thanks for sharing.

          • malubotelho

            Awesome write as always. Just beautiful.

          • Tony36

            Well written and expressed

          • myself and me

            I am choked by their afflictions. Are they forgotten by God?

            Love yours better. By the way, are you post your work by watching the clock?

            • Michael Edwards

              Forgotten by all - just up and ready to post . I am usually waiting for the magic hour so I can post and get on with my morning exercise routine but it doesn't always work out that way - this morning for example I am a bit behind.



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