He sat at the chair close to the door. They begun to argue.
She was playing outside and run back home as she heard the loud voices.
Her heart begun to pound with fear for her mother as he went to the drawer and got a kitchen knife.
He went to the other drawer and got a sharpener. Sat back on the chair and said as to terrorize them; Maria,
when I finish sharpen this knife I'm going to kill you with it. You will see. Her mother was inside the bedroom and she was sitting between the two rooms, close to the bedroom door. She did not move herself and stared at him as not believing on what he was saying. She thought if she stayed there he would not have the courage to do anything to her mother. She was only five. She had the faith in God and was courageous as much as her sweet mother was.
He played as a monster but he was her father.
When not drunk he was not bad. He loved to read interesting books for them. He would even read the Bible.
When drunk he was the beast. He had no respect to anyone.
He hated that her mother would go to church and had friends there.
More than once she heard him cursing, saying: you get your Christ and stick him on your ass.
Was so painful to hear him say that.
She was too young to understand religion but, what she did not like was he hurting her mother. Many times he did. She could not leave her mother, to go play away from the house and he would do something to hurt her.
Grab her by the hair. Throw her to the wall. Twist her arm and other things. So she would stick to her. Never leaving her alone. She knew she was her mother protection, and that day as other days she stood there, did not move.
Her mother was inside and played as if she was not hearing him. She begun to sing a beautiful melody. She had that sweet gracious voice.
He finished sharpening the knife and put it back into the drawer.
He looked at the girl and said: now the knife is ready, I'm not going to kill her today but tomorrow. Now I go to the bar to drink. Maybe I kill her when I come back.
-
Author:
Malu (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: September 24th, 2017 09:03
- Comment from author about the poem: I'm publishing some memories from my childhood. Having an alcoholic father we were used to go through terror in our home. It is quite dark and strong but we were not the only ones to live this.
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 34
Offline)
Comments6
What a beautiful, heart-rendering reflection on a terrifying childhood! Made sadder by the fact that it is such a common experience for children. Your poem, in its brutal honesty, touched me deeply, Malu. Congratulations!
Thanks Louis. They say that what does not kill you make you stronger and I find it to be true in my case. I don't get scared very easy.
A brave write indeed and all credit to you for facing it full square on .
Thanks Michael. Takes a lot to disturbe me. I lived a full life indeed.
Thank you for sharing such a deeply personal story. It's amazing how many of us have similar stories with alcoholic fathers. You are a very strong woman, Malu, and you have perservered! Your write gave me courage, so thank you! When I was reading, I got the chills. *Hugs* Christina
Thank you Christina. I decide to publish it now because you know how I m and I'm not exactly the kind of desperate person so thought maybe telling a real story about me could also serve for some reference to others. I'm the kind that think that we should be open and not keep things just for us. It is good to share experiences.
I know you are strong Malu and i know you have a wonderful faith and spread love wherever you can. In writing this, in reading this, i can see where some of the metal of your spirit was born. You're amazing. You certainly have lived!
Out of this trauma has risen an extremely strong lady who can face the world with absolute self reliance.
Good strong write Malu.
A very strong and personal account, Malu! A lot of times adults don't know how much their actions influence the children. A small child especially takes words at face value and can easily be traumatized by them. I admire you for having overcome a difficult childhood to be the beautiful and strong person you are today!
To be able to comment and rate this poem, you must be registered. Register here or if you are already registered, login here.