Come sleep, oh sleep, surreptitiously
Come sleep, oh sleep, surreptitiously
tiptoeing unnoticed, slip into my room
tiptoeing unnoticed, slip into my room
Sleep come into my room, tiptoeing slip,
unnoticed, surreptitiously, sleep come
With quiet arms and gentle hands
With quiet arms and gentle hands
And soft lips like a summer breeze
And soft lips like a summer breeze
Gentle, summer with quiet arms,
And lips, hands like and breeze
My rest is where your embrace is
My rest is where your embrace is
And your palm is where I am safe
And your palm is where I am safe
Where is your palm? Where my rest?
Am I safe? Is I and your embrace!
Your quiet arms are a summer breeze
Your gentle hands soft and safe
Surreptitiously and unnoticed sleep
Is my rest like lips embrace?
Your palm and sleep come
where I am; slip into my room
-
Author:
rrodriguez (
Offline) - Published: October 1st, 2017 12:45
- Comment from author about the poem: This poem is a Paradelle. It consists of 4 stanzas with 6 lines. 1 & 2 lines are identical in pair. 3 & 4 are also identical in pair. 5 & 6 lines of each stanza are created using every word from lines 1-4. The final stanza uses all the words used in the preceding three stanzas. I worked on it and this is my result. Comments are welcome.
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 41
Offline)
Comments5
This is such a great construction and I know from writing to a strict structure it isn't easy and yet you've made it look like a stroll in the country - great work indeed. Never written one myself and not sure if I have the courage to attempt it.
Thank you Michael.You have unwittingly given us the possibilities in a poem. Thank you.
Wow, Roberto! Michael is right, you made it look easy. Great work. I enjoyed it a lot. Unfortunately I don't think I could write with such a strict structure.
Thank you for reading my poem and commenting.
First rate writing in a tricky form too - reading through the whole piece its quiet flow went right my senses - thanks so much for sharing it with us Roberto
Thank you Fay for you generous comment.
Thank you Santita. You encouragement is highly appreciated.
Good write very well formed.
Thank you for your comment Gold.
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