Come Sleep, Oh Sleep

rrodriguez

 

Come sleep, oh sleep, surreptitiously

Come sleep, oh sleep, surreptitiously

tiptoeing unnoticed, slip into my room

tiptoeing unnoticed, slip into my room

Sleep come into my room, tiptoeing slip,

unnoticed, surreptitiously, sleep come

 

With quiet arms and gentle hands

With quiet arms and gentle hands

And soft lips like a summer breeze

And soft lips like a summer breeze

Gentle, summer with quiet arms,

And lips, hands like and breeze

 

My rest is where your embrace is

My rest is where your embrace is

And your palm is where I am safe

And your palm is where I am safe

Where is your palm? Where my rest?

Am I safe? Is I and your embrace!

 

Your quiet arms are a summer breeze

Your gentle hands soft and safe

Surreptitiously and unnoticed sleep

Is my rest like lips embrace?

Your palm and sleep come

where I am; slip into my room

 

 

 

  • Author: rrodriguez (Offline Offline)
  • Published: October 1st, 2017 12:45
  • Comment from author about the poem: This poem is a Paradelle. It consists of 4 stanzas with 6 lines. 1 & 2 lines are identical in pair. 3 & 4 are also identical in pair. 5 & 6 lines of each stanza are created using every word from lines 1-4. The final stanza uses all the words used in the preceding three stanzas. I worked on it and this is my result. Comments are welcome.
  • Category: Unclassified
  • Views: 41
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Comments5

  • Michael Edwards

    This is such a great construction and I know from writing to a strict structure it isn't easy and yet you've made it look like a stroll in the country - great work indeed. Never written one myself and not sure if I have the courage to attempt it.

    • rrodriguez

      Thank you Michael.You have unwittingly given us the possibilities in a poem. Thank you.

    • FredPeyer

      Wow, Roberto! Michael is right, you made it look easy. Great work. I enjoyed it a lot. Unfortunately I don't think I could write with such a strict structure.

      • rrodriguez

        Thank you for reading my poem and commenting.

      • Fay Slimm.

        First rate writing in a tricky form too - reading through the whole piece its quiet flow went right my senses - thanks so much for sharing it with us Roberto

        • rrodriguez

          Thank you Fay for you generous comment.

        • rrodriguez

          Thank you Santita. You encouragement is highly appreciated.

        • Goldfinch60

          Good write very well formed.

          • rrodriguez

            Thank you for your comment Gold.



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