It’s so quiet.

I’ve never noticed how quiet it was.

It’s almost strange to think that just hours ago, this emptiness had been filled with feelings

feelings that don’t even matter anymore.

There’s water running.

As I watch the water stream, I think,

I think it’s strange.

That while I sit here thinking all these thoughts that won’t matter soon, you’re probably somewhere far from here right now.

Probably somewhere far, laughing.

So happy.

How can you be happy while I’m hurting?

My head hurts.

Somewhere, in the room, the sound of a cap being popped off a bottle could be heard

Is that me?

What am I doing?

gulping and sobbing sounds could be heard

What am I doing?

glass breaking

There’s a strange feeling running down my arm

I wonder what it is.

I don’t care.

Forget it.

I’m so tired, I don’t even want to think anymore.

It doesn’t matter

you run your arms alongside the smooth porcelain closing you in

It’s so cold in here, I wonder if you’ve ever felt this way.

you shiver

Was the water always this color?

there’s a coldness in the room

Was my skin always this color?

you run your fingers along the bumps of your arm

I feel pain.

I wonder if you’ve felt pain like this.

you dig your fingernail into one of the lines

It hurts.

Like the feelings I felt yesterday.

Everything had crumbled down.

My head is spinning.

I can barely think straight.


There’s something running down my face.

you put a hand to your face

Is that me?

you feel the trickles, running down your face

Are those my tears?

you drop your hand

I think I’m going crazy.

a hysterical laugh escapes your lips


you repeat the word over and over again in your mind



guess that’s all I’ll ever be.


Like when I found you

When you were so broken.


When these feelings developed

So slowly.

I didn't even notice them sneaking up.


Like how I felt

When you told me the truth.

you shiver and look into the water, mesmerized

I wonder when the water turned this color.


So pretty.

So painful.


The pain carved.

When you told me

you didn’t love me.


your eyes are drooping

I’m sorry.


Crazy crazy crazy.

The water is a deep red now.

Crazy crazy crazy crazy.

I can’t focus anymore.

Crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy.

I’m sorry.

Crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy.

I’m sorry.

Crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy.

I’m sorry.




  • Karsten Turrey

    This is some of the best writing I have ever heard. It is truly captivating and incredibly hard to get enough of, I have read it several times already, I love it. Great job, I can't wait to read more of your writing

    • Marillene

      Thank you so much! It means a lot. I was kind of unsure whether or not I should post it, but so far everyone has been so supporting, thank you for your kind words.

    • FredPeyer

      Marillene, welcome to MPS!
      This is your first posting, and what a beauty it is! It draws the reader in, keeps him mesmerized until the so unfortunate end. Want to read more from you!

      • Marillene

        Thank you Alfred, I hope to see great posts from you in the future as well!

      • BRIAN & ANGELA

        WELCOME MARILLENE (nice mane !) Thanks for posting your first Story in poetic style ! So cool ~ so spaced out ~ drip drip drip ! Rejection& dejection does lead to self harm ~ especially for Ladies ~ it is harmful and not really the answer. I know it is much easier for Men to say "Better to have Loved & Lost than never to have Loved at all" but personally I have learned something from each of my "Love Encounters". Ladies are strong ~ Ladies are beautiful ~ Ladies do bounce back ! Your poem describes what so many MPS Members have gone through or are going through ! Every blessing ~ more please ~ Yours BRIAN (UK) Please check my Poems ~ Thanks B.

        • Marillene

          Thank you, your kind words inspire me to write more. I will definitely check your poems out as well, I'm sure they are wonderful.

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