Repetitive
The neighbor hood is quiet today
So quiet I can hear my thoughts
I close my eyes and revaluate everything
The fog is dense and moist
it leaves my hands clammy
I Watch my breath leave my mouth and almost dissolve in the winter air
I Walk to the nearest store hoping they have what I need
I walk up to the register with a pack of pencil sharpeners
The man looks at me disappointment in his eyes
He’s know what I’m up to
I hand him the money I stole from dads wallet
I walk back feeling numbness everywhere in my body
I rush inside with the bag in my hoodie pocket
I close my door softly and one single tear streaks down my cheek
I wipe it away quickly
And continue Unscrewing blades from cheap pencil sharpeners
I run a cold bath
Laying in cold water to punish my self
“You just had to over eat again didn’t you “
Races through my mind
Slow cuts so I can make sure I get what I deserve
I watch the blood tint the water a faint red color
getting out with barely any energy
Immediately putting on a sweatshirt
Freezing cold I turn off all the lights in my room
I’m sitting in the dark while I feel the warm tears stream down my face
I close my eyes and eventually I fall asleep
Knowing the next days I’m gonna do the same thing
Repetitive.
Repetitive.
Repetitive.
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Author:
🌻Celestial🌻 (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: December 19th, 2017 01:06
- Comment from author about the poem: Daily me
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 27
Offline)
Comments1
WELCOME CB ~ THIS READS LIKE IT'S AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL ! For one so Young ~ with all your life before you ~ it frightens me ~ what a waste. Many Young Ladies in my Community self~harm and when you ask why they do it they all say "To relieve the Pain of Life". Sometimes it's due to bullying ~ sometimes it's disgust of "self image" ~ sometimes it's a result of physical & sexual abuse. All these causes can be controlled but it's not easy in a cyber Society ! I work in a College and my Students are 17 ~ 25 on Career Related Courses ~ but some still self harm ! The main advice I give is if you Self Harm ~ then the Bullies & Abusers have won ~ DON'T DO IT ~ IT CAN KILL YOU. Thanks for sharing and (if autobiographical) I hope you found it CATHARTIC ~ Every Blessing ~ Thinking of You ~ Yours BRIAN (UK) MPS is a very empathetic site ~ you should get lots of support ~ B.
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