celestial being

Repetitive

Repetitive

The neighbor hood is quiet today

So quiet I can hear my thoughts

I close my eyes and revaluate everything

The fog is dense and moist

it leaves my hands clammy

I Watch my breath leave my mouth and almost dissolve in the winter air

I Walk to the nearest store hoping they have what I need

I walk up to the register with a pack of pencil sharpeners

The man looks at me disappointment in his eyes

He’s know what I’m up to

I hand him the money I stole from dads wallet

I walk back feeling numbness everywhere in my body

I rush inside with the bag in my hoodie pocket

I close my door softly and one single tear streaks down my cheek

I wipe it away quickly

And continue Unscrewing blades from cheap pencil sharpeners

I run a cold bath

Laying in cold water to punish my self

“You just had to over eat again didn’t you “

Races through my mind

Slow cuts so I can make sure I get what I deserve

I watch the blood tint the water a faint red color

getting out with barely any energy

Immediately putting on a sweatshirt

Freezing cold I turn off all the lights in my room

I’m sitting in the dark while I feel the warm tears stream down my face

I close my eyes and eventually I fall asleep

Knowing the next days I’m gonna do the same thing

Repetitive.

Repetitive.

Repetitive.

 

 

 

  • Author: ­čî╗Celestial­čî╗ (Pseudonym) (Offline Offline)
  • Published: December 19th, 2017 01:06
  • Comment from author about the poem: Daily me
  • Category: Unclassified
  • Views:

Comments1

  • BRIAN & ANGELA

    WELCOME CB ~ THIS READS LIKE IT'S AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL ! For one so Young ~ with all your life before you ~ it frightens me ~ what a waste. Many Young Ladies in my Community self~harm and when you ask why they do it they all say "To relieve the Pain of Life". Sometimes it's due to bullying ~ sometimes it's disgust of "self image" ~ sometimes it's a result of physical & sexual abuse. All these causes can be controlled but it's not easy in a cyber Society ! I work in a College and my Students are 17 ~ 25 on Career Related Courses ~ but some still self harm ! The main advice I give is if you Self Harm ~ then the Bullies & Abusers have won ~ DON'T DO IT ~ IT CAN KILL YOU. Thanks for sharing and (if autobiographical) I hope you found it CATHARTIC ~ Every Blessing ~ Thinking of You ~ Yours BRIAN (UK) MPS is a very empathetic site ~ you should get lots of support ~ B.



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