Air dancing through
Hair, faster faster I peddle away
Trying to find a way
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Author:
nessuno (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: January 8th, 2018 16:46
- Comment from author about the poem: my attempt at a haiku, I wrote this years ago, and it is one of my most read poems on any social media platform I have out there for poetry. This poem is about me biking and just trying to figure out life, and myself all at the same time. I find that most everything is very confusing and hard to really come to terms with, but when I have music in my ears and my bike between my legs it almost seems as everything is easier to handle. I love being able to bike as hard as I can and just keep on pushing through the beautiful streets I ride through daily. Thank u xx
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 10
Offline)
Comments2
HI "H" ~ Thanks for your HAIKU and your love of the BICYCLE ~ They are a very important means of transport ~ all over the World ! They are relatively cheap and don't need fuel ~ except food ! Did you know they are 200 years old this year ! They were invented in 1818 and called HOBBY HORSES ~ They has solid wheels and no pedals ! You propelled them with your feet ~ OK down hill but you had to push them up ! Strictly a HAIKU in English (or American) should have 17 syllables in three lines 5~7~5 So yours could be revised to:
Air dancing through hair
Faster ~ Faster I peddle
Try to find a way !
Yours is OK as written but some members are very keen that HAIKU should always be 5~7~5 ! Thanks for sharing ~ more please ~ Yours BRIAN XX
Hi H, further to what Brian has said, yes Haiku is a strict form of poetry of 17 syllables in a 5-7-5 format and Haiku strictly speaking should refer to nature or to the seasons, this one I think deals more with emotion and these are called Senryu with the same layout of 5-7-5.
Good write though and the feeling of freedom comes through the words.
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