I've got no time for poetry.


I’m far too busy to write a poem today.



The garden needs a tidy

Your sister is away

If I write a poem it’ll take all bloody day.

Mum’s got an appointment

at the salon later on

then to the doctors

to get a new hip on.

The car needs an MOT

in Chesterfield of course

I’ve got to pop out and find

some excrement from a horse.

For the garden to flourish

I must spread it all around

add it to some gravel

to hide the filthy ground

I must clean the kitchen

and wipe the bathroom tiles

vacuum in the living room

and re-arrange my files.

The windows, they need cleaning

our boots are smothered in mud

I went to start the van,

and the battery is a dud.

Get the van to the garage

get the groceries on the shelves

get the underpants ironed

I need to employ some elves.

I’m so bloody busy,

I’ve got not time to think,

I need to get a job,

or maybe have a drink!

Dammit there’s no whisky,

I need to write a list,

I’m off to the shop right now,

so later I’ll be pissed.


I’ve got no time for poetry,

don’t you know that I’m emeritus?

I need a bloody holiday,

before He comes to ferret us....



No wait....mum needs a cup of tea

a hot chocolate, a cuddle,

she wants the bit of newspaper

you’ve started to un-muddle.

Look, someone’s left a load of cake

sat lonely and forgot.

Now I’ve got to find the time to eat the bloody lot.

So, I’ve got no time for poetry,

in fact I’ve got to go,

this shouldn’t be the last line


  • Author: Appletree (Offline Offline)
  • Published: March 31st, 2018 06:13
  • Category: Unclassified
  • Views: 24


  • orchidee

    Dunno how you found time to write this, with having all that to do! You got that manure? That's the most important thing - yes?! lol.

    • Appletree

      It's about my dad to be honest! And yes, he has got the manure.

    • Michael Edwards

      I enjoyed this write - good work.

    • ElenaGrace

      This was really funny and relatable too

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