Why i do I have this overpowering urge,
Every day of my life to binge and purge.

Why can't I just wake up one day,
Enjoy eating food without dismay.

Why can't I remember how it feels to be free,
Of whatever the hell this is inside of me.

Why do I crave eating food fast as fuck,
And running to the toilet to puke my guts up.

Why does my mind switch to another zone,
With me needing to be absolutely alone.

Why am I edgy with this constant itch,
Destroying my life, bulimia you bitch. 

Why is this day another bad day again,
Why do I live constantly masking this pain.

Why can't I knock it, get on top,
Why can't I ever just fully stop.

Why my brain, was I born this way,
Will I live like this until my dying day.

Why can't people's love and support, or any tablet that i take,
Fix this horrible part of broken me for goodness sake.

Why? Why me? Why? God damn it, WHY?
It's just not fair, fuck i could cry!

  • Author: Renzi Mars (Pseudonym) (Offline Offline)
  • Published: May 24th, 2018 02:04
  • Comment from author about the poem: Brutal honest venting.
  • Category: Sad
  • Views: 44


  • Goldfinch60

    Very strong write Renzi, I have no words that will help, all I can do is listen and hope that by venting your feelings to somebody who DOES listen it may help.

    May your Spirit flow through you and bring you love and understanding.

    • Renzi

      Thanks my friend. Thankyou for reading. Some days you just gotta let it all out... much love to you x

    • Mystery1023

      Very emotional poem, i think it is very well written and thought out. I had a time where i was deep in depression and had a bit of an eating problem but letting myself vent and talk about it helped me alot. Im glad you are too.

    • Poetic Dan

      Wow.. Beautiful vent my friend
      Never give up trying new things, this must be so difficult but I believe there's answer coming for you.
      Much love and respect

      • Renzi

        Thankyou so much xo

      • dusk arising

        Sincerity always came through in your writing and today its heart wrenching. Smacks me in the guts. Oh that i could find words to ease your burden.
        Wishing you joyous times ahead to strengthen your soul.

        • Renzi

          All my love 💓

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