HangingbyaHalo

The End

Today I made sense of it,

You see I had been asking myself questions

Toying with ideas

Torturing myself

With what ifs and could have beens

 My mind is sometimes my worst enemy

Writing stories that never actually happened

Intricate play by plays of how it might have gone

 If only..

Stop!!!

I scream at myself

Just stop

 

It didn't

It couldn't

Because it happened how it happened and that’s just how it happened

 

Right?

 

The reality hurts more than the pretend play by plays.

There I can believe you loved me

I can believe that there is this majestic light that one day will shine in your mind

And you will magically turn into the man we needed you to be.

In these thoughts we were good enough,

You were strong enough,

To be the man your father failed to be.

This is why alone was uncomfortable

When my mind is not filled with things it needs to get done it focuses on you.

 

I still see your smile

 

The man that stole the breath from my lungs

1000 things could have happened to deter me from that moment

 From that day

From the long line of mistakes that crushed what we could have been.

But somehow with all the possibilities and improbabilities

I was standing there.

 

 

 

I can’t play the rewind game anymore 

And I am done chipping away at what is left of me.

 

I gave you everything I had

 

And I will never be able to re write the past

 

But what I can do

 

Is Hand you the pen and hope you change how the story ends...

 

-B-

 

Comments4

  • Sugiura Asuna

    This is plain and simple, amazing,. You write from your heart and that is clearly expressed in your poetry. You are on of the many people on this site who know how to use all available resources when writing stories (they truly are narratives) such as these.

    • HangingbyaHalo

      Wow, I am flattered. Thank you so very much.

    • BRIAN & ANGELA

      WELCOME "B" ~ Thanks for your first Poem ~ I found it very powerful and very real ! Occasionally on this site (and yes it really is a GEM) we get a LOVE POEM that is a classic ~ and a situation that we can emphasise with ~ I've been in and out of Love for the last 17 years ~ but I'm now engaged to ANGELA and it will last forever ~ AMEN ! Your poem is structured into THREE major verses with dialogue in between ~ It throbs with rhythm and is great to read & recite ~ marks of a good poem !
      Verse 1. "Today I made sense of it !" You shed the delusion you had been living !
      Verse 2. "The reality hurts more than the pretend play by plays" You really believed He could magically turn into the MAN we wanted Him to be. This is hope and prayer we have all prayed at some time in our experience of LIFE & LOVE !
      Verse 3. "The MAN that stole the breath from my lungs" Something was crushed that could have been ~ I can echo that !
      What I really like is that you don't close the book ~ there is still a glimmer of HOPE !
      "I can't play the rewind game anymore ........... But what I can do ............ Is Hand you the pen and hope you change how the story ends ~ AMEN !"
      Thanks for caring & sharing ~ this is a MEGA POEM and very PRECIOUS ~ more please ~ Yours BRIAN (UK) Please check my Poems ~ Thanks B !

      • HangingbyaHalo

        I am so excited to be here. Thank you for being so supportive. Your words warm my heart.

        • BRIAN & ANGELA

          That's OK "B" ~ This is how MPS works ! We read each others POEMS and ~ if we like one we comment ~ also if someone comments ~ we acknowledge it ~ as you have done. You can also build up a cohort of MPS Friends ! Thanks for caring ~ Yours BRIAN NB ~ The word EMPHASISE in line 4 of my comment should be EMPATHISE ~ OK ~ B !

        • Jane Frye

          Wow! So much expressed here. When you write from the heart, you can't go wrong.

          • HangingbyaHalo

            Thank you so much. I usually write about all the things my heart cannot hold any longer.

          • nicolibellamont

            Wow. I really have to say it kept my attention. I loved it. Thank you for sharing

            • HangingbyaHalo

              Thank you for your kind words. I appreciate you reading and commenting.



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