LiterateLesbian

Dementia

 

When you look at me,

I don’t know what you see,

I just hope that you will remember me.

 

It’s hard to watch you become someone I don’t know,

As I always thought your memory would grow,

And now those who love you, you no longer know.

 

You grow worse with each passing day,

And sometimes I can’t make sense of what you say,

But that doesn’t mean each day will be grey.

 

I know you lay with me but your mind does not,

But I’ll keep my patience and I’ll give it my best shot.

 

It’s OK Nanna I hear your confusion,

There’s no need to make yourself a seclusion,

Even if your mind is playing one big illusion.

 

I can only be close as your memory goes,

Remembering when you were seventy and could touch your toes,

And now I see you withering away in those clothes.

 

I will try to be by your side through every sigh,

And even when you can’t remember that ‘guy’

But I can’t promise you that I wont cry.

 

Losing someone close has always been my fear,

Especially now you think Grandad is still here.

 

I don’t want to make you know me,

All that I ask is you tell me what you see,

Although I can’t always say I’ll agree.

 

This is the longest goodbye I have ever had to do,

Just know that I will always be standing by you,

Even though each day I’m wishing for a break-through.

 

This is really hard for me to get off my chest

Just know that I know you are doing your best

You don’t have to speak now; just please, get your rest.

Comments4

  • Goldfinch60

    Dementia is a very cruel disease, my wife is suffering from it and each day it gets worse, she still recognises me but last night when I walked into the room where she ws sitting she looked at me and said "Can we go home now".

    If you look through my poems there are many about the problems that happen with dementia and how I feel about it. I am a religious man, I used to be a Chaplain but my Faith is being severely questioned.

    Good write by the way, all you can do is try and be with her and accept all her strange ways, but best of all is to make her laugh, laughter helps a great deal.

    • LiterateLesbian

      Thank you for your kind words, ill have a read through some tonight, thank you again! I hope you are ok, i feel so alone in this situation as i know no one else personally that is going through this too. She was full of humour just over a year ago, that is what hurts so much. I remember all her little jokes and how she has never missed an episode of hollyoakes since it started, now she doesnt know the characters or what is going on it is so painful. Im trying to be strong for her until it is too late 🙁

    • Nicholas Browning

      The end is simply one beginning's closure, and the birth of another. I very much hope that you keep your words with you. Be strong, brave, and honest with yourself and your Nan. You can do it. Best regards.

      • LiterateLesbian

        thank you for taking the time to read and reply with such kind words 🙂

      • Michael Edwards

        You love, you care, and you even question yourself - you are one hell of a lady - Stay strong for your Nan and keep writing.

      • Candlewitch

        I am so sorry that the times are such that you must endure this passing. from your written words, I can tell that you are a loving and very strong woman. may be peace be with you and your nana.

        sincerely, Cat

        • LiterateLesbian

          Thanks for your time and kind words Cat 🙂



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