Uncertainty at every corner

Nightmares in place of my dreams

Plaguing me at every hour

It's never ending it seems


So tired of living a life

Where everything is scary

Just barely holding on

Can't wait for me to be me


No one to truly understand

What it's like to live with this fear

Day in and day out I'm screaming inside

But there's no one around that can hear


  • Goldfinch60

    Emotive write, I do wish there is something that I could do to stop your screaming inside.

    • Christina8

      Me too, thanks for caring. Always appreciate your kind replies!

    • sjc513

      Love how I can feel the emotion with your words very beautiful!

      • Christina8

        Thanks so much, I appreciate it!

        • sjc513


        • Poetic Dan

          This test of life is just for you
          Now we know and hear them too
          Next time they tell you what to do
          We'll be there to heal the wounds

          Just keep on writing it's all true!
          I'm definitely saying this to me and you
          Thank you for sharing what you go through

          • Christina8

            Thanks so much Dan. I appreciate your kind words. And the poem!

          • orchidee

            A fine write Christina. I experience it minimally. It's to do with the mind. Prayers needed for a sound mind. Not 'unsound' in an unbalanced way though.
            Yes - I do wish I would stop singing, to stop you screaming inside! heehee.

            • Christina8

              Thanks Orchidee! I do pray but prayers only help so much. Haven't found the cure yet. I appreciate your input!

              • orchidee

                I understand Christian. We may sometimes have to do something, or not do something, as well as the prayers

              • Unsub


                this is a great opening piece to the disorder, but I'd love you to really get down & dirty with it & express these screaming moments in more detail; would be a heavy write to do but the result would help relieve the pain you feel inside.


                • Christina8

                  Thanks for your input, I will consider it, but hard to do when trying to keep everything rhyming. Maybe someday I'll just release a piece of free verse. Thanks again, appreciated!


                • BRIAN & ANGELA

                  HI CHRIS ~ trying to catch up with the postings of my MPS Family. This is very frank ~ I trust you found it cathartic. The older Students (25+) on my "Access to Higher Education Course" (about 30 per annum) have a range of apprehensions. In our pre-course 1 to 1 Counselling Sessions they use many of the expressions in your poem ~ which i trust you found cathartic. Uncertainty ~ Nightmares ~ Living a Lie ~ Just holding on ~ No one understands ~ Living with fear ~ Screaming inside ~ No one listens or understands etc. Despite this in my experience (to date) none have failed to start the Course (1 or 2 years). One of the reasons is that they are starting on a "Tailor Made Course" which they really want to do ! Also the fellowship and interaction of their Tutors & Felloiw Students. They are starting again at 28 to pick up where they left off @ 18 for many reasons ! I hope and pray that you will be able to resume your Nursing Soon even if only on a part-time basis ~ I believe that would make a big difference to how you feel ? Every Blessing ~ Thinking of YOU and Praying for YOU ~ Love BRIAN & ANGELA I am pleased you have had so many positive and supportive replies ~ MPS is a very empathetic FAMILY ~ We all lift you UP ~ B & A

                  • Christina8

                    Thanks so much for your everlasting support and positive comments. I really appreciate your feedback but I have to be able to drive to go to work. Thanks for your uplifting sentiments and prayers. Hugs to you and Angela--Christina

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