Comments received on poems by Jack Cohen
The Walker
Goldfinch60 said:
So you\'ve seen me during the night Jack. 😈😈😈.
Andy
July 17th, 2021 00:24
Goldfinch60 said:
So you\'ve seen me during the night Jack. 😈😈😈.
Andy
July 17th, 2021 00:24
A Stillbeat Heart
L. B. Mek said:
in one of my write\'s, I think I wrote
\'dear self, forgive me
for falling in love with each syllable
of those lies: just, so-as to survive\'
(or something similar),
and I can\'t help but recognise that same theme
or message in your write as well;
it\'s so true how we like to twist ourselves
into knots, just by layering our lies
one on top of the other, fearing
if we admit to ourselves, our capacity
to distort our own reality, we won\'t
have anywhere to hide
and blame
and hate
then, what would we do
with all that repressed, festering resentment...
\'In confines
it moans and cries
led horribly astray.\'
\'In the dark
a stillbeat heart
imprisoned by the lie.\'
(a wonderful read, dear poet
with an important message,
thanks for choosing to share)
July 16th, 2021 03:37
L. B. Mek said:
in one of my write\'s, I think I wrote
\'dear self, forgive me
for falling in love with each syllable
of those lies: just, so-as to survive\'
(or something similar),
and I can\'t help but recognise that same theme
or message in your write as well;
it\'s so true how we like to twist ourselves
into knots, just by layering our lies
one on top of the other, fearing
if we admit to ourselves, our capacity
to distort our own reality, we won\'t
have anywhere to hide
and blame
and hate
then, what would we do
with all that repressed, festering resentment...
\'In confines
it moans and cries
led horribly astray.\'
\'In the dark
a stillbeat heart
imprisoned by the lie.\'
(a wonderful read, dear poet
with an important message,
thanks for choosing to share)
July 16th, 2021 03:37
The Dread Beast
L. B. Mek said:
I like the level of dramatic intensity
you\'ve managed to craft, within such a short write
showcases your practised skill of word placement
and pacing..
an intriguing read, thanks for sharing
July 15th, 2021 03:12
L. B. Mek said:
I like the level of dramatic intensity
you\'ve managed to craft, within such a short write
showcases your practised skill of word placement
and pacing..
an intriguing read, thanks for sharing
July 15th, 2021 03:12
At Worlds End
Chloe Miller said:
Hi Jack,
I think you really captured the imagery of decay in the first half of the poem, and created tension well with the contrasting imagery of life and growth with the last tree and its fruit. Make sure to have this kind of tension in your poems as it makes them interesting.
My only point of criticism is that there should be a possessive apostrophe in the 5th stanza (\"forest\'s dying screams\", not \"forests dying screams\").
Apart from that, great work, keep it up!
All the best,
Chloe.
July 14th, 2021 07:38
Chloe Miller said:
Hi Jack,
I think you really captured the imagery of decay in the first half of the poem, and created tension well with the contrasting imagery of life and growth with the last tree and its fruit. Make sure to have this kind of tension in your poems as it makes them interesting.
My only point of criticism is that there should be a possessive apostrophe in the 5th stanza (\"forest\'s dying screams\", not \"forests dying screams\").
Apart from that, great work, keep it up!
All the best,
Chloe.
July 14th, 2021 07:38
At Worlds End
aDarkerMind said:
welcome to MPS Jack;
and what a start!
an outstanding write;
July 14th, 2021 05:51
aDarkerMind said:
welcome to MPS Jack;
and what a start!
an outstanding write;
July 14th, 2021 05:51
At Worlds End
Goldfinch60 said:
I will be with you Jack at the worlds end.
Welcome to MPS
July 13th, 2021 23:44
Goldfinch60 said:
I will be with you Jack at the worlds end.
Welcome to MPS
July 13th, 2021 23:44
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