Comments received on poems by Jack Cohen



Safe Harbor
L. B. Mek said:

\'Day.....

They\'re all
gone,
my crew, my friends
Into the night they went.
And on this ship, gun in hand
Went the days
that I have spent.
This wood soaked tomb,
this smelly bog
Is where I\'ll surely die

I hear the scream
they know I\'m near
Oh god!
Don\'t let them hear


my cries!\'..
(just a suggestion, in how I would have tried to structure the pacing)
really enjoyed this scenes, especially liked how you added a deft touch to detail and context, enough
to keep us wondering and enticed.
thanks for sharing, dear poet..
(if this evolves into a more detailed short story, I would be intrigued to read some more, especially
if you were to play around with characterisation, I think that could a lot to your style
\'in my humble opinion\')

October 5th, 2021 05:42

This Town of Mine
L. B. Mek said:

so many, have memories and past\'s they can look back on, longingly;
and yet, just as many
are inundated with yesterday\'s, they can\'t rid themselves - of,
no matter the strength of their sleeping pills...
we, need to exist
between the shadow and sunlight, so as to remind ourselves
how crucial it is, we appreciate
the Now: we\'ve yet to taste!
(a great write, took me on reminiscing journey of my own,
indeed, we all have a past we try to deny or a regret, we\'re too scared to confront)

September 17th, 2021 03:59

A Wicked Scheme
L. B. Mek said:

\'Every night
awoken by fright
feeling me lose my mind.

The final dream
it revealed to me
the reason for my birth.

It\'s using me
a wicked scheme
to open a door upon the earth.

now it\'s out
needs me found
needs the final lines written.\'
indeed, this is wonderfully written
really adore, your style of flow dear poet
a unique voice, a beautifully tender one
that\'s hidden under so much bluster and aesthetic wordplay..
I shall always invest in your write\'s, because I know
they stem from and are inspired-by
something, deeply meaningful..
thank you, for choosing to share
(please forgive me
if my words cause offence
I sincerely meant them to be supportive and encouraging)

September 13th, 2021 06:17

A Wicked Scheme
James Michael Schwab said:

Very well written. A little criticism if I may. It needs to be tightened up. Possibly too much thought. Possibly too many Guinness for me!

September 12th, 2021 21:52

What Must I Be?
Having hope said:

A great writing dear Jack. Really heart warming..🙂

September 10th, 2021 11:57

What Must I Be?
Jayasree said:

Reading this made me very sad. So touching.

September 9th, 2021 08:03

What Must I Be?
L. B. Mek said:

\'seat or strive
wait or strike
choices aplenty
but inevitability a certainty
waste life, or utilise
just know that, in the end
\'Time\': won\'t give a F\'ck...!\'
(a good read!
thanks for inspiring my own feeble reply)
and I\'m sorry if my rude word choice, caused offense
no disrespect intended, just got lost in the vibe

September 9th, 2021 05:05

Marked
L. B. Mek said:

that darkness within, we so want to regress
and keep hidden
but, only by acknowledging its presence
can we limit
our ability to sabotage ourselves and bring forth
our own demise...
insightful message, and timely
sadly, we no longer have a \'wiser\' older generation
to share such nuggets of life with us,
what a loss!
thanks for sharing, dear poet

August 12th, 2021 05:34

The Strangers
Goldfinch60 said:

Many strangers do not show their faces until they are understood.

Andy

July 28th, 2021 01:02

We Only Are
Eugene S. said:

I get a very atmospheric New Orleans or Ybor City vibe when reading this.....Anne Rice comes to mind. Great read.

July 26th, 2021 02:13

From the Corner
dusk arising said:

Great stuff! Well composed and very entertaining.

July 26th, 2021 01:30

From the Corner
Saxon Crow said:

A good poem. I enjoyed it very much

July 26th, 2021 00:09

From the Corner
jarcher54 said:

Glad you escaped... this time! Nice little adventure you took us on.

July 26th, 2021 00:07

Dear Mary Beth
L. B. Mek said:

wonderfully creative, may I dare
to guess, if this has that T. S. Elliot
Alfred Prufrock - playfulness, woven
into its scene depicted: realism..
a wonderful reading experience
thanks for sharing dear poet
I really admire your diverse range
and artistic courage to experiment

July 23rd, 2021 04:16

A Moonlight Dance
Goddess of the Mist said:

Wow what an awesome spooky scene! I enjoyed this!

July 17th, 2021 20:17

The Walker
Goldfinch60 said:

So you\'ve seen me during the night Jack. 😈😈😈.

Andy

July 17th, 2021 00:24

The Walker
aDarkerMind said:

a poem to applaud.....loudly!

July 16th, 2021 13:22

The Walker
Neil Higgins said:

Oh This is superb stuff Jack.Simply love the gothic overtones worded here.

July 16th, 2021 12:16

A Stillbeat Heart
L. B. Mek said:

in one of my write\'s, I think I wrote
\'dear self, forgive me
for falling in love with each syllable
of those lies: just, so-as to survive\'
(or something similar),
and I can\'t help but recognise that same theme
or message in your write as well;
it\'s so true how we like to twist ourselves
into knots, just by layering our lies
one on top of the other, fearing
if we admit to ourselves, our capacity
to distort our own reality, we won\'t
have anywhere to hide
and blame
and hate
then, what would we do
with all that repressed, festering resentment...
\'In confines
it moans and cries
led horribly astray.\'

\'In the dark
a stillbeat heart
imprisoned by the lie.\'
(a wonderful read, dear poet
with an important message,
thanks for choosing to share)

July 16th, 2021 03:37

A Stillbeat Heart
Having hope said:



July 15th, 2021 23:33

The Dread Beast
L. B. Mek said:

I like the level of dramatic intensity
you\'ve managed to craft, within such a short write
showcases your practised skill of word placement
and pacing..
an intriguing read, thanks for sharing

July 15th, 2021 03:12

The Dread Beast
Neil Higgins said:

Superb.
Hides swiftly away from sight.

July 14th, 2021 12:11

At Worlds End
Chloe Miller said:

Hi Jack,
I think you really captured the imagery of decay in the first half of the poem, and created tension well with the contrasting imagery of life and growth with the last tree and its fruit. Make sure to have this kind of tension in your poems as it makes them interesting.
My only point of criticism is that there should be a possessive apostrophe in the 5th stanza (\"forest\'s dying screams\", not \"forests dying screams\").
Apart from that, great work, keep it up!
All the best,
Chloe.

July 14th, 2021 07:38

At Worlds End
aDarkerMind said:

welcome to MPS Jack;
and what a start!
an outstanding write;

July 14th, 2021 05:51

At Worlds End
Neil Higgins said:

This is a brilliant write.
Welcome to MPS

July 14th, 2021 05:44

At Worlds End
Goldfinch60 said:

I will be with you Jack at the worlds end.

Welcome to MPS

July 13th, 2021 23:44