Comments received on poems by zabrinahurst
WHAT WENT WRONG
BRIAN & ANGELA said:
BEAUTIFUL LOVE POEM ZABRINA - with a consistent rhyme pattern abab cdcd etc which give it great flow and makes it lovely to read and even more lovely to recite. Your poem explores the agony (and in some extent the ecstasy) of unrequited love. All adults share your experiences and your last line evoked sad memories ! I WILL ALWAYS HAVE THIS LOVE FOR YOU - DESPITE IF THINGS HAS GONE WRONG - Yours Brian
April 12th, 2016 15:10
BRIAN & ANGELA said:
BEAUTIFUL LOVE POEM ZABRINA - with a consistent rhyme pattern abab cdcd etc which give it great flow and makes it lovely to read and even more lovely to recite. Your poem explores the agony (and in some extent the ecstasy) of unrequited love. All adults share your experiences and your last line evoked sad memories ! I WILL ALWAYS HAVE THIS LOVE FOR YOU - DESPITE IF THINGS HAS GONE WRONG - Yours Brian
April 12th, 2016 15:10
Days of Night
BRIAN & ANGELA said:
HI ZABRINA - Welcome to My Poetic Side - nice site - awesome poems - nice poeple. Great first poem it is good that you invite comment - that's the only way we improve - by getting comments. I like REIVAX'S comment it is objective and helpful ! Your poem is written in rhyming quatrains (with an abab cdcd etc rhyming pattern ) and this give it flow. The metre is disjointed but this adds uncertainty which is the topic ! I like your use of HALF RHYME - Creek & Weeps (2) Phone & Home (3) Further & Endorser (5) Stronger & Loner (7). The shorter verses scan better (1 2 3 & 7) - OK - Hope that helps - please check my poems - BRIAN
April 7th, 2016 08:20
BRIAN & ANGELA said:
HI ZABRINA - Welcome to My Poetic Side - nice site - awesome poems - nice poeple. Great first poem it is good that you invite comment - that's the only way we improve - by getting comments. I like REIVAX'S comment it is objective and helpful ! Your poem is written in rhyming quatrains (with an abab cdcd etc rhyming pattern ) and this give it flow. The metre is disjointed but this adds uncertainty which is the topic ! I like your use of HALF RHYME - Creek & Weeps (2) Phone & Home (3) Further & Endorser (5) Stronger & Loner (7). The shorter verses scan better (1 2 3 & 7) - OK - Hope that helps - please check my poems - BRIAN
April 7th, 2016 08:20
Days of Night
zabrinahurst said:
I am just getting started, please tell me how it sounds.
April 6th, 2016 10:47
zabrinahurst said:
I am just getting started, please tell me how it sounds.
April 6th, 2016 10:47
