Mary
Aa Harvey said:

I love this poem!

I like the \'prove my existence\' and the \'wanting to effect a brief moment of their pointless existence\'\' lines as well as all the other lines. I like the honesty that comes from the poem.

You asked Tony36 \'any criticism\' and I have no criticism, but personally I would put a paragraph space (a gap between the two lines) after \'we are worthless\' (I sometimes say \'we\' when talking about myself) or \'prove my existence\' depending on whether those lines are about you or a connection of feelings you share with another person.

I would also add another paragraph space just before \'I love you\' because the first paragraph is about you, the second is about You and them and \'I love you\' I would let it stand alone, for emphasis.

But it is your poem and it is wonderfully written.



January 20th, 2017 07:41

What if I fail
Christina8 said:

Great poem, Ks! It is okay to fail, you just try, try again! Great job!-Christina

January 19th, 2017 14:33

Regret
Christina8 said:

Great write! I can relate on regret and it\'s a difficult thing because we can\'t undo the past but love ourselves enough to forgive ourselves and move on.--Christina

January 18th, 2017 14:06

Regret
ron parrish aka wordman said:

great subject,and you wrote it well

January 18th, 2017 09:02

Her guardian
Tony36 said:

Well written and expressed Great write

January 16th, 2017 11:03