Brush up your shakespeare

The girls today in society,
Go for classical poetry,
So to win their hearts one must quote with ease
Aeschylus and Euripides.
One must know Homer and, b’lieve me, Bo.
Sophocles, also Sappho-ho!
Unless you know Shelley and Keats and Pope.
Dainty debbies will call you a dope.
But the poet of them all
Who will start ‘em simply ravin’
Is the poet people call
The bard of Stratford-on-Avon.
Brush up your Shakespeare,
Start quoting him now.
Brush up your Shakespeare
And the women you will wow.
Just declaim a few lines from “Othella”
And they’ll think you’re a helluva fella.
If your blonde won’t respond when you flatter ‘er
Tell her what Tony told Cleopaterer,
If she fights when her clothes you are mussing,
What are clothes? “Much Ado About Nussing.”
Brush up your Shakespeare
And they’ll all kowtow.
Brush up your Shakespeare,
Start quoting him now.
Brush up your Shakespeare
And the women you will wow.
With the wife of the British embessida
Try a crack out of “Troilus and Cressida,”
If she says she won’t buy it or tike it
Make her tike it, what’s more, “As You Like It.”
If she says your behavior is heinous
Kick her right in the “Coriolanus.”
Brush up your Shakespeare
And they’ll all kowtow.
Brush up your Shakespeare,
Start quoting him now.
Brush up your Shakespeare
And the women you will wow.
If you can’t be a ham and do “Hamlet”
They will not give a damn or a damnlet.
Just recite an occasional sonnet.
And your lap’ll have “Honey” upon it.
When your baby is pleading for pleasure
Let her sample your “Measure For Measure.”
Brush up your Shakespeare
And they’ll all kowtow.
Brush up your Shakespeare,
Start quoting him now.
Brush up your Shakespeare
And the women you will wow.
Better mention “The Merchant Of Venice”
When her sweet pound o’ flesh you would menace.
If her virtue, at first, she defends – well,
Just remind her that “All’s Well That Ends Well.”
And if still she won’t give you a bonus
You know what Venus got from Adonis!
Brush up your Shakespeare
And they’ll all kowtow.
Brush up your Shakespeare,
Start quoting him now.
Brush up your Shakespeare
And the women you will wow.
If your goil is a Washington Heights dream.
Treat the kid to “A Midsummer Night’s Dream.”
If she then wants an all-by-herself night
Let her rest ev’ry ‘leventh or “Twelfth Night.”
If because of your heat she gets huffy
Simply play on and “Lay on, Macduffy!”
Brush up your Shakespeare
And they’ll all kowtow.
Brush up your Shakespeare,
Start quoting him now.
Brush up your Shakespeare
And the women you will wow.
So tonight just recite to your matey,
“Kiss me, Kate. Kiss me, Kate. Kiss me, Katey.”
Brush up your Shakespeare
And they’ll all kowtow.