Call 'Em Names, Jeff

Said Beauregard, to Lee, and Jeff,
"These Yankees sons of thunder
"Will scatter us from right to left,
"Or cause us to knock under,
"Unless we find some other way
"Of meeting their advances;
"We've made up faces now so long,
"They do not mind our glances.
"Ha, ha, ha, ha,
"They do not ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
"They do not mind our glances. "

"O true," said Jeff, "I know it well,
"How shall we change our game, sir?"
"O dear," said Lee, "I cannot tell."
Quoth Beau, "We'll call 'em names, sir."
"That's good," said Jeff. 'You've hit it, Beau."
Cried Lee, "That's what's the matter;
"We'll call them 'Abolutionists,'
"And then you'll see them scatter.
"Ha, ha, ha, ha,
"And then you'll ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
"And then you'll see them scatter."

They rubb'd their traitor hands in glee,
And issued stringent orders,
Signed by the polite Beauregard,
That, henceforth through their borders,
The only word that should be used,
To name the Yankee soldier,
Should be an "Abolutionist,"
And then they strutted bolder.
Ha, ha, ha, ha,
And then they ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
And then they strutted bolder.

They really thought that calling names
Had strengthen'd their position,
When all their sneaking curs up North
Ran yelping Abolition;
But soon we made the traitors know
'Twas something else the matter,
The more they 'Abolution'" howl'd,
The more we did not scatter.
Ha, ha, ha, ha,
The more we ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
The more we did not scatter.

We take the name your gave us, Beau,
We mean to make it true, sir,
We'll first abolish Slavery's power,
And then abolish you, sir.
You thought we'd guard your niggers, Jeff.
And keep them raising corn, sir,
To feed the traitor hordes you lead;
We'll do it "in a horn sir."
Ha, ha, ha, ha,
We'll do it ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
We'll do it "in a horn sir."

We'll free your blacks and fight your whites
And dig for traitors, graves, sir,
Until there's not in all the land
A traitor or a slave, sir;
When that is done, we'll home return,
The home to us so dear, sir,
And soundly kick and cuff the curs,
Now barking in our rear, sir.
Ha, ha, ha, ha,
Now barking ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
Now barking in our rear, sir.