POETICAL OUTTAKES
With discomposed demeanour
Relieved her inexpressibly.
Words unsaid by strangers
Reflections of chance resemblance
He considered himself elite
And deep within her reticule
A cold ascetic face
Fortified by principle
Spires of stately fanes stand proud
from the depths of discomposition
with thoughts like peeling acer bark
With hastening tread
Every day a raging storm
But soon the calm must come
In airless rooms with windows shut
like melting crowns that fall on fire
in cold green swell the water ran
with water weary chilled blue eyes
in self consuming vanity
Where idols shared a temple tall
The lonely path weaves down
A puff white mane
The world is still the world
Unfortified by principle
A man denied of books
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Author:
Michael Edwards (
Offline) - Published: August 13th, 2018 00:08
- Comment from author about the poem: .............A bit different today - when I write poetry I often discard lines which don't fit and rather than delete them entirely I put in an outtake folder. ........................When writing poems I often refer to the folder for ideas and yesterday I was at a loss so I wrote a new short piece comprising entirely of previously discarded material. I thought it might be of interest to publish both the folder itself and the piece I wrote......................So today here is the folder itself and tomorrow I will publish the poem derived from it. I'd be interested to hear what others make of this approach. .........................................As for the painting it is taken from an old sepia photograph of my home town : Market Harborough - Bygone days.
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Comments9
Hmm, a fine write M. But I don't know, can't comment much on this style. I tend to use all my lines there and then. Well, I make deletions and alterations as I go along. Not that many, to be honest, when I get in the flow of writing!
Your thoughts like peeling acer bark
as melting crowns that fall on fire
in ashes rise again anew.
What am I doing mucking about in an ash heap?! heehee.
Good source of potassium - lowers your ph reading - is yours over 7?
Dunno! Would Miss Berles know?
We could ask but I think she's gone on her Ram Berles .
I too have a file of ideas that were never brought to fruition. This reminded me of a poem that I wrote many years ago and I will put on here to today.
Look forward to reading it Andy
Michael,
Love the painting and your idea of the outtake folder! I’m looking forward to the poem you’ll derive from it!
This approach reminds me a bit of the “brainstorming” of ideas for writing that I used with my elementary school students! It was a group activity...
promoting self confidence!
~Laura~
Thanks Laura - it's just a short somewhat enigmatic piece - yes a sort of brainstorming exercise and you can come up with some great poetry that is(in artistic terms) loose unrestrained.
How about the Bolics? Can they help me out of this ash heap? And does anyone else but you know what I'm wittering on about?!
Doubt it - you could ask Ivor Klew. You might remember him - he was the one who held the flag and shouted Ho Yo Silver when Henry was looking for a horse .
I won't ask his sister, Netta (not a) Klew though!
I'm off fishing today with Netta Fish (her married name) so I could ask her - who's mad now?
Such interesting phrasing in your poetical outtakes Michael - - cant wait to read what you make of their rearrangement tomorrow. Love the picture.
Thank you Fay - it's not the approach i usually use but it can be quite an exciting way to write.
GOOD AFTERNOON MIKE ~ i WAS BUSY THIS MORNING ~ So now (after SOUP & SANI) I have a little time to devote to MPS. I found your "LIST" interesting ~ the MUSE is stirred by WORDS (and spawns words) it is also stirred by Visual Images and (less so) by Sounds & Scents. Structured Poetry has Rules & Constraints (so it is useful to store "phrases") Modern Poetry has NO RULES so such store would be useless. Because You are a WORDSMITH I have selected some for my own collection (we all have a "Little Black Poetry Book") ! Love the picture full of 19th C charm !
Hello both. Yes I just love words. As I said in another posting I often think of poetry in terms of art - we have abstract art so why not abstract poetry where the words just work and flow for their own sake without ant evident overall meaning- Abstract poetry - a new genre.
HI MIKE ~ BRIAN HERE AGAIN ! I've selected 5 of your outtakes for My Little Black Book ~ look out for them !
Words unsaid by strangers
Fortified by principle
Like melting crowns that fall on fire
The lonely path weaves down
A man denied of books
Here are some of mine ~ all scientific
His Bunsen still burned brightly ~ when ignited
Elizabeth was more an Enigma than an Enzyme
The union was doomed to failure. She was EXOTHERMIC ~ He was decidedly ENDO !
ABSTRACT POETRY ~ Like Abstract Art ~ is a genre of Modern Poetry i.e without REASON ~ OK ~ Some MPS Poetry is ABSTRACT !
Thanks for posting BRIAN.
Look forward to them - all good lines . Tomorrows poem (semi-abstract) contains 7 of the lines with only minor adjustment to ensure balance etc.
On the bunsen theme:
She came over quite excitely
each and every nightly
just to see the sightly
of his Bunsen burning brightly
And did she swoon? 'To see his Bunsen, eh?!' Well, that was her excuse, and she is sticking to it! We'll believe her, though thousands wouldn't. lol.
Each one a gem for my mind to play with!
Looking forward to your poem.
Thanks dusk - here's to tomorrow
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