SHE EATS LIKE A BIRD

Michael Edwards

 

 

 

SHE EATS LIKE A BIRD

 

 

Ma-in-law’s come for lunch today

and from the kitchen I hear her say:

‘I don’t want much dinner

I need to get thinner

It might sound absurd

But I eat like a bird’.

 

Having already cooked mountains of food

I grit my teeth and mouth something rude

and perceive her request as a bit of slur

 if she eats like a bird then it’s fat balls for her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • Author: Michael Edwards (Offline Offline)
  • Published: September 15th, 2018 00:08
  • Category: Unclassified
  • Views: 105
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Comments +

Comments8

  • Goldfinch60

    So the Beef Wellington with onion gravy, roast potatoes and asparagus was not appreciated then Michael.

  • orchidee

    Oh lol good write and pic Michael. You giving her mealworms too?!

  • LaurašŸŒ»

    Michael,

    A fun read!
    You mouthing something rude?!...
    I donā€™t believe it!

    Are ā€œfat ballsā€ like meatballs?

    Beautiful art piece!

    ~Laura~

    • Michael Edwards

      in the UK we can buy fat balls for the wild birds. They come with a piece of string so they can be hung from a branch or bird table and consist of what I guess is fat which contains loads of seeds etcetera for the birds - they seem to be loved by members of the tit family among others.

      Oooh i do say rude things sometimes like Flanders and Swanns famous song:

      Ma's out, Pa's out, Let's talk rude!
      Pee Po Belly Bum Knickers.
      Dance in the garden in the nude,
      Pee Po Belly Bum Knickers.
      Let's write rude words all down our street,
      Stick out our tongues at the people we meet,
      Let's have an intellectual treat
      Pee Po Belly Bum Knickers.

      • LaurašŸŒ»

        Those naughty Little Chickadees...
        šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£

        The best laugh Iā€™ve had all day!šŸ¤—

      • Andrew Charles Forrest

        Michael!
        It'll soon be Christmas

        • Michael Edwards

          Christmas pud, real chutney (why can't you get real chutney in the supermarkets - it's all either caramelised onion or tomato - where are all the fruit and vegetable chutneys my mum used to make?) pickled onions, port and stilton - oh I could go on.

          • Andrew Charles Forrest

            Almost a rant Michael
            I like the new you!

            • Michael Edwards

              It's been one of those days - also ranted about cats in another discussion here today. Cats and chutney - it'll be the poor quality of underwater basket weaving teachers next.

              • Andrew Charles Forrest

                MMmm They are useless these days though ! aren't they?

              • BRIAN & ANGELA

                Thanks UNCLE MIKE ~ Love the Houses I love bespoke ART however PRIMITIVE ! Angela and I are both foodies ~ Angela's job is very physical so she needs lots of carbs & proteins & enough fats etc. The first time I took her to my Fave Restaurant ~ she chose the WINE (Spanish Rioja of course !) and ate every gram of the three courses (Pate ~ Sirloin Steak ~ Apple & Blackberry Pie with ice cream ~ chocolate mints & coffee ! I fell in love with her appetite ! I don't like PICKY EATERS or VEGANS. Thanks for sharing ~ Yours as always BRIAN

                • Michael Edwards

                  So pleased you're not picky - I just hate picky eaters. Don't like this, don't like that - I could strangle them. Jeanne and I eat any cuisine and any ingredients. I was drying some bay leaves about 10 days ago and a friend called and asked what they were - I told him and he asked (can you believe it?) why. When I said they were for the kitchen he just looked at me blankly. Some folk have never lived.

                  Good for Angela - a great menu although very British - when eating out we try to find something on the menu which we wouldn't ordinarily eat at home - but like Angela I did enjoy a great fillet steak a week or so ago. .

                • orchidee

                  You seen Mr Chris Tation - Christopher? Or is it Miss Chris Tation (Christine)? Maybe it's husband and wife, both named Chris? (crustacean).

                  • Michael Edwards

                    Gone on a bingo with John Dory, Halle Butt, Dug Ong, and Mac Errol - wonder how much they'll enjoy themselves on a scale of 1 to 10.

                  • dusk arising

                    Women can be awful touchy about other peoples cooking. Now my mum was a terrible cook, i was brought up eating Heinz 57 varieties. My ex on the other hand was a fine cook. I shall never forget when mum and dad came around for sunday tea near christmas (a rare event for them to visit) and Ex had cooked some mince pies, dad was stuffing his face saying how delicious they were, mother was prodding a mince pie around her plate with a fork.

                    • Michael Edwards

                      Ah mince pies heated in the oven with piping hot custard - there's a distinct Christmas theme in this discussion. I'm with your Dad

                      • dusk arising

                        Soon enough the season of yule will be upon us. Sadly my mince pies will be shop bought this year. However, we must patiently wait.

                        • dusk arising

                          Soon enough the season of yule will be upon us. Sadly my mince pies will be shop bought this year. However, we must patiently wait.

                          • dusk arising

                            Soon enough the season of yule will be upon us. Sadly my mince pies will be shop bought this year. However, we must patiently wait.

                          • A.H. Browning

                            Thank you for making me smile... really smile... and maybe laugh šŸ˜† a little.

                            A.H. Browning

                            • Michael Edwards

                              I can tell the truth now - actually it was my Sister in Law but that work so well in the poem - and no - I didn't give her fat balls - but I did think about it !! .



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