Back into My World

Goldfinch60



Where has she gone,

This wonderful lady who I married,

Married so many years ago.

Wedded bliss stayed with us,

Stayed with us until these latter days,

These days where dementia has taken her,

Taken her from me.

Her mind is almost completely lost,

It is dying each day,

But still her body lives on.

She lives in her own world

Where sometimes I do not exist.

I watch her as she looks through her handbag,

Looks through her handbag for hours,

For hours at a time.

She cannot walk through a room

Without being distracted,

So her purpose is lost.

I have to tell her constantly

What she needs to do,

What she wants to do,

But still she gets distracted

By the smallest of diversions.

My love for her is still there,

But I wish the lady that I really loved

Would come back from her own world,

And back into mine.

  • Author: Goldfinch60 (Pseudonym) (Offline Offline)
  • Published: October 25th, 2018 02:09
  • Comment from author about the poem: Literally incomparable. Kathleen Ferrier takes us into realms that words cannot fully express. Astonishingly emotional, I have yet to listen to a recording of this work without tears. Yet the world is so much richer for her life, tragically shortened though it was.
  • Category: Reflection
  • Views: 47
  • User favorite of this poem: Poetic Dan.
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Comments5

  • orchidee

    I may understand this, though not having experienced it. Any signs of relief? Any glimmers of light? Healing somehow, if gradually? Thinking of you both, and in prayers.

    • Goldfinch60

      Thanks Orchi. There is no relief from dementia it just gets worse day by day in Joyce's case.

    • Michael Edwards

      A heart wrenching read - I am still enjoying KF in the car where it is played constantly (only when I am in it obviously).

      • Goldfinch60

        Thank you Michael - it is hard.
        I am glad that you are still enjoying KF in your car - she is timeless.

      • BRIAN & ANGELA

        Ahhhhh UNCLE ANDY ~ KF still the Prima Donna ~ always my DADS favorite ! He has 33's and a windup gramaphone with a Horn and Thorn Needles ! Being a Newspaper Man he is a bit eccentric and always wears a Bowler Hat on a Sunday etc !
        Your POEM is very poignant and we can empathise ~ but only from a distance. Several of my Friends and extended Family have succumbed to ALZHEIMER'S and have died internally. Yesterday I attended a Reunion and my Friend RUTH brought her HUSBAND BOB (50) a High Ranking Electrical Engineer and a Fitness Fanatic. He shambled in unkempt grinning and laughing and unable to hold a conversation ~ tragic. Ruth who still teaches two days a week confided in me how difficult it is ~ and at times she feels like giving up. You are a great example and we all admire what you do 24/7 for JOYCE ~ AMEN ! Blessings & Love to JOYCE & YOURSELF ~ BRIAN & ANGELA 🧡🧡🧡🧡

        • Goldfinch60

          Thank you for your kind thoughts A and B. All I can do is the best I can for Joyces.

        • dusk arising

          Such a sad way for a good spirited man to find himself questioning everything.
          Your anguish comes through. I suspect that there is anger subdued here too. If you feel the need to shout, then shout! Yell, cry out WHY?..... Life is beautiful, but life is cruel.

          No answers, but i feel for you.

          • Goldfinch60

            Believe me I do yell out and cry but there are no answers to be found.

            You are so right life IS beautiful but it can be cruel as well.

            Your comments are always much appreciated da.

          • A.H. Browning

            I really appreciate your writing here. My grandfather had dementia. God bless.

            https://ahbrowning.com/alzheimers-disease/

            • Goldfinch60

              Thank you for your words AHB. I looked at your blog and they have recently said that they may be finding a cure for Alzheimers disease but there is no cure for vascular dementia, the brain is just being increasingly destroyed and will continue to go that way.

              • A.H. Browning

                I empathize with you, although I'm sure I do not completely understand what you must be going through. It's one thing for me to watch my grandfather deal with dementia, however I believe it's much more overwhelming for your situation. Thank you for sharing with me the specifics of your situation. I was not familiar with vascular dementia. I will make sure to include this disease on my website in the future.

                I know and accept that we are all born, we live and at some point we die. I'm OK with that. The difficulty I have is watching someone I love suffer with disease. Parkinson's and other health problems took my father, cancer took my mother. Cancer and other diseases have taken other people close to me. From my perspective, when you are in this kind of situation, it can feel very isolating. I pray that you do not feel alone. I wish you every peace and comfort possible in this situation and wish for you to have the strength and support you deserve and need.

                Sincerely,
                AHB

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