Christina K

All Along

An ugly, lofty thought 

burrowing deep inside my mind,

burning its image in my heart,

I resort only to my pride.

God, where are you now,

when the lies build up inside me?

Where do you hide

when they start to redefine me?

My ear is trained to hear your voice

but that constant has gone silent,

and now I’m stuck here in this void

as these thought start getting violent.

I cry out to hear your truth

but I feel more alone

as the lies start getting louder and

the fears still feel like home.

God, why can’t you approach me

when I’m crippled with my fears?

I know they’ll go away

once I feel you drawing near.

In my darkness I can’t see you -

like I’m wondering in night -

for I know your familiar presence

is a crippling bright light.

Lord, replace these itching fears and lies

and fill me with your truth.

Pull me back to earth and 

renew me to my roots.

Remind me that my failures

are forgiven in your sight.

Cast out all my anxiety

and give me peace in this dark night.

Humiliate me with your love

till I’m naked and ashamed

and reclothe me with your mercy

so your kingdom I can gain.

God, you hide from no one

despite what we have done,

and though I can’t feel you now,

I know you’ve been there all along.

Comments4

  • Goldfinch60

    God is always with us, sometimes we don't see him.

  • orchidee

    And yet the Psalmist says in some places 'How long, O God?' Even in one place 'Wake up, God', in modern version.
    I may know it too - a negative thought flashes across the mind'. But what about....?'.
    And so the 'How long' can change to Him being there 'all along'

  • Fay Slimm

    A heartfelt prayer which is so honest and appealing dear Christina - - those final two lines give a positive end and lift the whole feel of lament - - " though I can’t feel you now,
    I know you’ve been there all along." - - a touching read.

  • BRIAN & ANGELA

    SPIRIT of the Living GOD
    Fall afresh on ME
    SPIRIT of the Living GOD
    Fall afresh on ME
    Break ME ~ Melt ME
    Mold ME ~ Fill ME
    Spirit of the Living GOD
    Fall afresh on ME

    Thanks for sharing Sister Chris. Thinking of YOU & Praying for YOU

    Yours as always ~ BRIAN



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