Fay Slimm






She never prevaricated about what
she had screeved,
she seemed unhaffled on being reft.


But she was no rumbustious piece.
of ignorant gowk.
She knew all about making a gyle
and could skitter the quaking top
of virago-fresh brew like a matron.


Firkin or pottle she bottled the lot,
cocked a snoop at her unwashed
whinnock then set out for a quiet
turn on the high rock-ridden carn.


The moortop felt queachy as Bess
stumbled along but dinna get riled
hummin' sea shantys all to herself.

Waverous this maid, skin-full and
somewhat unsteady had sampled
that slake all too well.

She byways roved 'til her smicket
got spottled.

A churlish young yokel spied that
girlie a-slocken
and yon stripling clod-hopped her
there on the heather then grassed,
one gormless lassie was weltered
when slathered.


Bess 'tho undone merrily trundled
her vagous way,
dosily dazed,
~ ~~
~~~~ ~~~
home again but well impregnated.

Haffled = Quibbled - - - Reft = Left destitiute
Gowk = Simpleton - - -- Skitter = Skim
Verago = Whirlpool - - - Queachy = Miry
Vagous = Erratic - - - - - Smicket = Smock


  • orchidee

    Ooh she's back. She's a lass, she gets around! lol.

  • Neville

    Kernow is calling..... no two ways about it absolutely brilliant


  • dusk arising

    Reminded me of our modified lyrics to that Tom Jones hit "down the lane i look and there runs Mary, knickers torn and looking weary, She's had her share of the green green grass of home"

    So i can picture bawdy Fay at the tavern delivering handfuls of mugged ale to overfull tables as she sings the tale of Gormless Bess to an appreciative buttock pinching crowd.

  • Michael Edwards

    Well she was some maid - such a great fun read dear Fay.

  • Poetic Dan

    I'll be honest was difficult for me but I do like a challenging read now and then.

    Always appreciated
    Much peace and respect

  • MendedFences27

    I'm at a loss for words. Most of what you said I had search for, but could not find, and yet I got the intent of your poem.A maid went wandering inebriated, and
    defenseless and ended up pregnant Yes? I loved the challenge, but I'm sure many read this straightforward without blinking an eye. Wasn't it Churchill who said something about us being separated by language. Thank you Fay for a most intriguing
    write. - Phil A.

  • Goldfinch60

    Good fun read Fay, a young maiden of yore, Orchi and I probably new her well.


    We blame it on the SCRUMPY
    Makes a CORNISH MAID all HUMPY !

    Thanks for this FAY : Angela here its 9am (Tuesday) and the last Day with my Parents who fly to Los Angeles (USA) tomorrow ! We are going into TOWN today and they are treating me to LUNCH ~ AMEN ! It has been wonderful having them here with me in AUCKLAND !
    This is a very cautionary : but alas oft repeated : Tale. Thanks for the GLOSSARY it does help to rationalise dialect POETRY which I love : especially recited. BRIAN always includes a Glossary when he posts a BURNS POEM ! When we spoke on SKYPE this morning He said he was going to post one tomorrow on TOOTHACHES with a Glossary and a Reading (not his own : but He does have a bit of Scots Blood : McLaren !) Love the poem ! Ive tried reading it our loud : I might try it at one of the Poetry Readings : There are Poeple from the West Country in Auckland ! Is that OK ? Love the PICTURE : Very Poignant & very Apt !

    Blessings & Peace & Love
    Yours ANGELA 🧡🧡🧡🧡

    • Fay Slimm

      Dear Angela - your comment is as ever filled with busy happenings as already the short time with your parents is passing - - you must have made such happy memories however during their stay and they know now how things are going for you as you continue your assignment in New Zealand -- no probs at all if you want to read my Gormless poem aloud though of course the glossary will be important for those not familiar with old Cornish dialect - - - it works as a fun poem but as you point out it is cautionary too - - so pleased you enjoyed the read. Wishing your parents a safe journey to Los Angeles. Big hugs to you both dear duo.......... xx from Fay

    To be able to comment and rate this poem, you must be registered. Register here or if you are already registered, login here.