Conned to the End.

The building site was there,

The work was going well.

It was an enclosed place

As there was much of value

On the grounds,

So Fred was on the gate.

A man of years

Who had been protecting,

Protecting sites like this

For a long time.

Not much got passed him

But he knew he was being conned,

Conned by Joe.

Now Joe was a con man

Who could steal things from anybody,

Every evening Joe would pass Fred,

“Hello Joe, can I look in your wheelbarrow?”

“Yes of course you can Fred” he said with a smile.

Fred would look and nothing was found,

Every day this went on.

Fred knew that Joe was stealing

But just could not find out what.

The time came to pass

When Fred had to retire,

On his last day

Joe came out from the site

And stopped by Joe,

He gave Joe a bottle of scotch.

“This is from me for your retirement Fred”

“Thank you Joe, much appreciated.

Now that it is all over Joe

Can you tell me something,

I know you have been stealing stuff,

But I have never found anything on you”

“You are right Fred” said Joe,

I have fooled you many times”

“What were you stealing?” asked Fred,

“Well you saw them every day” said Joe,

“I was stealing wheelbarrows!”


  • orchidee

    Oh lol, good write Gold. I been conning folk, as the phantom whisky-waterer!

    • Goldfinch60

      Thanks Orchi. Don’t you dare come near my whisk!!!!!

    • Neville

      Brilliant sir.. a wheely good punchline if I may say so... and furthermore, I would never have guessed it was coming either... or going I guess......


      • Goldfinch60

        Thanks Neville, I wheeled this one out the archives.

        • Neville

          I've wheely bin there too this mane... Noah would have been proud of us wouldn't he....

        • Suresh

          Yes, a truly fine one indeed

        • dusk arising

          He should have noticed there was no squeeky wheel. All wheelbarrows develop a squeeky wheel after the first mile.

          • Goldfinch60

            He used to squeak as his artificial leg was never oiled.

          • Fay Slimm.

            Ha ha - well that was a surprise to my eyes dear Andy - - the man knew how to fool and what an unusual collection to nab . Great read.

          • moordykspot2

            Brilliant !!

          • Michael Edwards

            And they never go in a straight line. Have you ever played the game: Spot how many times Monty Don is seen pushing a wheelbarrow in a single programme.

          • Christina8

            LOL fantastic write Andy! I didn't see the punchline coming at all!

          • ANGELA & BRIAN

            Thanks UNCLE ANDY ~ Ahhh the old empty wheelbarrow ploy ! The older the joke the better it is ! Like the SCOTSMAN who threw a cheque for £500 into Paddy's grave to repay a debt he owed him. His Widow saw the Action and thanked Jock profusely. *Sure Paddy had mentioned a debt but that cheque will sure come in handy when he meets Peter @ the Golden Gate* *Hows that ?* asked Jock. *Well* said Colleen *Hes not been a Bad Husband & Father & Grandfather ~ and he was saying just before he died* *If you thinking of a donation for my Requiem Mass ~ £500 should be enough to pay for 5 years off my Purgatory* Jock thanked COLLEEN but checked his account every day to see if his cheque had been drawn by EL BANCO DEL SPIRITO SANCTO in Madrid !

            Blessings & Peace to YOU & JOYCE
            Yours ANGELA & BRIAN 🧡💙🧡💙🧡

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