HUMAN DESIGN
With simple additions to the human plan
you could soon enhance the performance of man
and to prove this I give some suggestions below.
Radical? Yes. But here we go:
To see behind as well as ahead
an eye would be good in the back of the head
and in the event of a shortage disaster
egg whisks for arms would help you work faster.
Rotate an ear so it faces behind
for all round hearing and peace of mind
and turn the nose up or move it down south,
it’s not very nice just above the mouth.
Other ideas that come to mind
and would certainly benefit all mankind:
feet that can turn 360 degrees
coupled, of course with rotating knees
And as you get older why not add a
remote control for the leaking bladder,
and here’s an idea to save on the washing:
self-cleaning buttocks would be a real blessing.
-
Author:
Michael Edwards (
Offline) - Published: August 2nd, 2019 01:18
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 32
Offline)
Comments9
Good one Michael, the other thing we would need is a computer inside us even if it is just to remember names Bert.
"In old age never walk passed a toilet!"
Walk past a toilet?
I never do
Even a bush can be used as a loo
When the prostrate is pressing
Relief is a blessing
A fine write M. Also this? Some people seem to talk out of their.....rear end. Is their mouth located there?!
There's not much point speaking through your rear end - those who do usually only speak a load of hot wind and their underpants muffle the words. Ask Bum Berles - he knows!
I got such a soft spot for these Michael.. maybe we should all have one incorporated about us.. a kinda chuckle button..... I really and very truly enjoyed taking a peek inside ya head here... nice one and then some .... Neville
Now a chuckle button is a great idea - we could add a 'Don't Talk To Me - I don't Like You' button as well.
I'll have two brace of each, unless they are permanent fixtures .. N
Well, we got a light bulb that goes on in our head, and says 'IDEA!' Hope we don't blow a fuse.
I can't always get the light bulb to work - where do I plug myself in?
You head go 'PING!' and a light come on?! There is a shop - a Light Berles shop, run by one of the Berles, I understand.
It hasn't escaped me
It's a bit of a farce
But you finally invented
A much improved arse
Though i noticed you didnt
Improve something silly
Much better equipment
So we don't feel so chilly.
Forgot a third arm - you could wrap presents without asking someone to hold the paper in place while you navigate the mysteries of sellotape.
I couldn't thing of anything which rhymed with silly that needs improving.
You could relocate the inaccessible willy
for its current location is really quite silly
Why on earth is it placed in the position it is
It's so inconvenient when you're wanting to piss
On the side of the hand would be good I'm guessing
And an extra finger would be quite a blessing.
You could replace it where once was our nose
Disguised as one of five toes
Though it might get too tender
To survive influenza
Snot funny when the end of it glows
We ought to develop these and do a joint publication - Oh no - that won't work - there's no joints in a willy.
Ha ha - - well we will see what can be done about radical changes to human design once the science-boys read these humorous lines - - I laughed aloud at the final stanza.........
I have to admit the idea makes me smile as well. Thanks Fay.
Thanks UNCLE MIKE very droll but its also very perceptive ! Japanese ROBOTS will have all the features you suggest & more ! However you will find many of yiour suggestions are already incorporated in the FLORA (which has antifreeze in Arctic Zones) and DESSERT RATS (who recycle all their water inwardly and never need to urinate !) When I was speaking to the KIDS @ Church about Creation I said *If GOD had of put our NOSES the other way up ~ Every time it rained we would drown ~ and every time we sneezed we would blow our HAT OFF ! Scouse humour I guess ! At least (as you say) S*O* would not run in our mouths ~ BUT one would have to stand on ones head to blow into ones hanky ~ and picking ones Nose would defy GRAVITY !
Blessings to YOU & YOURS
Yours BRIAN & ANGEL💙🧡💙
Simply snot - err sorry - swap the nose and mouth round. You would have to get used to not putting your food up your nose though.
Hello Michael,
An interesting write. Good stuff.
We certainly live in a world where IT and gadgets are taking over from man.
Keep writing FineB
I think all the variations were experimented, before settling on you as a model - HA!!!!!
So we have only you to blame
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