Michael Edwards

NEVER HAVE I

 

 

NEVER HAVE I

 

 

Never have I ridden a bike wearing a silly helmet

and if ever I did, I’m sorry to say, I’d find it quite repellent

to see my street cred go in a stroke;

I’m certainly not that kind of bloke.

 

I’ve never gone cycling with a parrot on my shoulder

and I sure don’t want to as I get older

for riding a bike whilst shouldering a bird

is not a practice widely observed.

 

I’ve never been cycling with a boiled egg on my head

such an activity is something I’d dread

but a fried egg’s okay for should I cough

the chances are it wouldn’t roll off.

 

 

I’ve never gone riding wearing lycra

for if I did I know I’d look like a

bit of a prat

and there’s no fun in that.

 

 

 

Comments8

  • Goldfinch60

    Ditto Michael, ditto.

    Andy

  • ANGELA & BRIAN

    ANGELA HERE - Good Sabbath Uncle Mike - Love the sketch BRIDGES always fascinate me - especilly *Pack Horse* ! Love the Pome a series of quatrains tells it all. Brian & I were brought to wear cranial protection when cycling. We support headway and as a Physio I have seen the aftermath too many cycling accidents. But I agree *They do look silly* almost like a wig ! In the UK & abroad (where bike is King) i have seen all sorts *Porte a Bicyclette* Dogs - Cats - Monkeys - Children - Wi!ves & Bundles of everything including bags of uncooked eggs. Your Pome made me smile and now I cant stop laughing - at all the EGGS - TRAORDINARY Cylces in my Head ! Brians in the Shower and thinks Ive gone mad in the Computer Room. Thanks for sharing !

    Blessings & Peace to You & Yours
    Love Angela & Brian 💛💛💛💛💛
    Lovin* Lockdown with Brian !

    • Michael Edwards

      So pleased it gave you a laugh - in truth I fully support the wearing of helmets but don't fancy the idea of wearing one - although I guess I would if enticed to ride a bike after many a long year.

    • orchidee

      Oh lol, good write and pic M.
      I know someone who founded a local Bicycle Hemet Initiative Trust (similar to Headway).
      I visited someone in hospital, years ago now, weekly for about 4 months - cycling accident with no helmet, and sadly passed away. The Trust was founded due to this.

      • Michael Edwards

        You could wear a hemet in the shower and recycle the water.

      • The Uneducated O.A.P

        How strange is that, my wife and daughter went out for their daily walk last week ( my wife's younger than me where I am over 70) by the side of the canal (your pic?) and coming the other way on her mobility scooter was a lady with a parrot on her shoulder! It's a strange world. Keep well, Bill

        • Michael Edwards

          I'm 77 and go for an hours walk out in the countryside every day with my wife - thankfully the countryside and some vast open tracts are on our doorstep. Never seen someone out and about with a parrot though. Having said that my Aunty used to have a budgerigar which was always on her shoulder. She often took it into the garden and when it had had enough would get back into its cage - which she left on the lawn with the door open. Yup - a strange world.

          • The Uneducated O.A.P

            Arrr Jim lad., or arr Mic lad 😀

          • dusk arising

            I can't picture you as a lycra cycler either ...... but hiding from this disease'll keep ya by your easel.

            Excellent verses of fun.

            have you considered cycling
            with eggs that are poached
            but my word you're a natural
            you must have been coached

            • Michael Edwards

              Oh cripes - no I never considered poached eggs but did try scrambled which help if you go scrambling.

            • Neville

              I just luv a bit o abstract absurdity.. the idea of a fried egg on me Barnett makes me cringe....

              I never been cyclin wearin
              a dress or a fez, or facial
              fuzz
              aint gonna say why
              Let's just say becuz ….

              Go good sir,

              Neville

              • Michael Edwards

                If you don't fancy the idea of a fried egg you try bacon. Cheers N.

              • MendedFences27

                A good bit of fun, this. What with helmets, parrots, and eggs on one's head.I was envisioning scenes of Monty Python. Thanks for the laugh. - Phil A

                • Michael Edwards

                  Sheer madness - but it helps keep the spirits up - thanks Phil.

                • Andrew Charles Forrest

                  Once a helmet saved my life
                  I wore it rather loosely
                  He came back once and saved the wife
                  I thanked him, quite profusely

                  Great write Michael
                  Helmets are like insurance
                  No-one wants it until you need it



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