No, not the Big C
The 'unmentionable' word, relating to health
But c'mon now, guess, the Big Ch.
Dare I mention it, this early in the year?
Well, half the year's gone
Only another half year until the next Ch.
Ya know ya likes getting those Ch. catalogues
In June or July
Well, it gives ya enough time to choose prezzies -
Whisky with water for me, please
If ya are stuck as to what to buy me!
If we wish away the year too quick
It can seem like it's nearly always Ch.
Wishing our lives away - arrggghhh!
Well, I wish ya a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year now!
But why now? Cos I might forget later on
I best compose some carol-poems now then
And wrap a fancy gift-ribbon around Fido's bone
Never too early to start!
Happy 2021 to ya!
I'm quite busy now, ya know
Gotta start me Ch shopping today!
Yep, save money - buy Ch cards at start of New Year
When they're reduced in price
Makes sense to me - my middle name is Scrooge!
Heehee.
Here's a clip to remind ya
Or to prolong your agony?!
-
Author:
orchidee (
Offline) - Published: June 30th, 2020 02:03
- Comment from author about the poem: Not a hymn-poem! Ch Greetings to all!
- Category: Humor
- Views: 15
- User favorite of this poem: Accidental Poet.
Offline)
Comments6
I have told you many times how much I enjoy your little poetic deviations.. I enjoyed this one too.. not only did it provide a remarkable insight into your personal wiring.. I think you have found your true calling.. you little deviant you 🙂
Thanks Neville. I could have added a couple of lines about Branson - he is still thousands short! I think we should all support him at Ch..... yes?!
But when the big day arrives, will you remember where you hid all you bought today?
And since I have a little Jingle in my Bingle, I'll buy you singing lessons. And a good set of ear plugs for myself. ; )
Thanks AP. lol.
Love this - as Neville says you have a great insightful deviant side that should come out more often.
Thanks M. My dafter poems have gone into my E-book too. It won't update properly. A surprise if ever its' printed?! We're gonna be poor this Christmas - gotta give it all to Branson I think we should - not!!
GOOD KING WENSASLAS ~ looked our ~ WHEN ?
On the Feast of STEPHEN (26th December)
You have your own YULETIDE FEAST Then
A great Honour and a Great saint !
When the SNOW lay round about
DEEP & CRISP & EVEN !
Was Jesus Born in CANADA ?
Ive told you about my American Cousin CAROL ~ Who is in the hierarchy of the UNITARIAN CHURCH in Austin TEXAS. On the SUNDAY we went with Her and My Cousin Peter to the Morning Service. I looked through the HYMN BOOK and there was a section on *CHRISTMAS HYMNS* including
*Vieled in Flesh the Godhead see ~ Hail the Incarnate DEITY
Pleased as Man with Man to dwell JESUS our Emmanuel*
I said to Carol *Doesnt that run a Steamroller through Unitarian Doctrine*. She smiled and said *Yes it does and its embarassing for me because my Name is Carol. I was on the Committee (10) who selected the Hymns and as an Academic Unitarian Historian ~ I raised an objection because of the clash of Theology ! BUT some said we*re Americans and we cant have a Hymn Book without Christmas Carols - What will we sing Christmas ? We put it to the vote and I was outvoted 9 to 1 ~ C*est la Vie !* The Christmas Carols carry great Theological Truth ~ which the Unitarians surely need ~ as does everybody ~ there is a GOD ~ AMEN !
Coming back to your POEM. In my Parents Home C*R*S*M*S always began in 1st June so we are an Month late already. They kept a list of who had sent a C Card the previous Year (say 1990 when I was seven) and this was the list for 1991 ! The old *Card for a Card ~ PLOY !* We has some Foot & Mouth cards left over from 1990 and these were assigned to People on the List form 1.6.91 onwards. Missionary Societies brought C Cards to the Church in the next few Months (for a Donation not Sale on Sunday !) augmented by a new set of Foot & Mouth and Charity Cards YMCA ~ RSPCA etc. We were a big satellite Family & Friends etc so the list was almost 200 cards long. Delivery either by Hand @ Church ~ Neighbours etc or as essential (including Air Mail Cards for overseas) by Mail. Posting & Distribution of local cards did not begin until 1st December although we did receive some in November ! The gathering & wrapping of Presents and non-perisable Christmas Fare also began from June onwards. The ubiquitous C Tree (a real one) and C Decorations began (in earnest) after 1st December and were stored in the Loft ~ TRADITION ! ! My Mum was a confectioner and from November onwards with our help made Dozens of C Puds (laced with Brandy) with our help and Dozens of decorated C Cakes for her nearest & dearest ! Never apologise for being TOO EARLY for CHRISMAS to me although in December ANGELA & I will select ONE ELECTRONIC MUSICAL CMAS CARD load it into email with pictures & news of SMOKEY etc ~ Press the send button and send to 250 on our list to the fours corners of the WORLD saveing at least £500 ~ OK Hear endeth the 9th Lesson & Carol
Blessings & A Kule Yule to You & CMas Canine
Spiritual Love BRIAN & ANGELA 🧡💚🧡💚🧡
Oohh, if we're in a mood, we might say:' I will cross you off my Christmas card list!' heehee.
Erm, it happens that - well, we don't know if no contact more than once a year - that people popped their clogs years ago, and we still send them cards!
You had better not put water in my whisky like you did last year otherwise I will tell KP's mum, she lives next door to a friend of mine so I will be able to extract my revenge by telling her to tell KP to restrict any privileges that KP may have been giving you.
(This is true, KP's mother lives next door to a friend of mine in Sussex)
Thanks Gold. Do you say 'arrgghh, no!' with KP's mother living next door to this friend.
Erm, with 'privileges' or affairs even. There are some in TV soaps. They are ghastly though. I say 'just don't let me see them on screen', and certainly no bed scenes! lol.
Noe Fido is totally screwed, didn't expect Ch. to come so soon. It's still warm out, and he hasn't hidden his bones for winter. That's not cool man, that's not cool.
Thanks Suresh lol.
To be able to comment and rate this poem, you must be registered. Register here or if you are already registered, login here.