Michael Edwards

LIMERICK 73 ( Plus 3 Variants )



LIMERICK 73 ( Plus 3 Variants )


You might see a tramp when you’re out and about

who stands in the bushes and gets out his spout.

Now it’s not a nice sight

but remember his plight:

when the bladder is weak the wee has to come out.




And the three runners-up are:



it’s not a nice trait

but his bladder won’t wait

and desperate is he to let his wee out.



which although disconcerting

when bladder is bursting

there’s no other option to let the wee out.




you might find this bad

but  please don’t get mad

for he’s no other means to let his wee out.





  • Goldfinch60

    Good one(s) Michael.

    Beautiful painting.

  • orchidee

    Well, I dunno lol. There's hundreds of names, but dunno if I've heard it called spout before! Would Miss B know these things? Good pic too.

    • Michael Edwards

      Good name though entit?

      • orchidee

        I shall swoon every time I see a teapot now! lol.

      • 4 more comments

      • Doggerel Dave

        And there once was a tramp from near Barking
        Who whipped out his (18+) for an airing;
        For this offense he had to pay,
        A constable took him away
        With a knot in it for safekeeping.

        Great picture - as usual, Michael.

        • Michael Edwards

          Hey dave I like it. thanks for your kind words about the painting.

          • Doggerel Dave

            A bit of a cheat (and cheek) really Michael. the 'ing' is too easy a rhyme and although you make an argument for no strict adherence to poetry rules, I could certainly have done better with my syllable counts and scanning.
            Anyway, so long as the message re picture hit the right spot...

          • L. B. Mek

            a fun read Michael...
            its all fun and games
            until we all reach that certain age
            and all we're left are endless nights
            of knee entwined shuffles
            to and from those horrid corridors
            between us
            and our white porcelain
            of salvation...

          • Robert Southwick Richmond

            I vote for the first version, not a classic limerick, but in consistent verse.

            This old man rather often stands in the bushes and gets out his spout, and I'm not a tramp, though the pandemic has left me looking like one.

            • Michael Edwards

              It depends what you mean by 'classic' - I don't always follow the strict 9-9-6-6-9 rule but then few poets do, and you know what I think about poetry rules - I am much more concerned with meter - or are you simply saying that although my No73 is consistent it's not that good? It follows the general construct of Lears poems who is reputed as putting the first collection together but he also didn't always follow the 9-9-6-6-9 rule and often repeated the same name/word in the first and last lines (probably a nod to some of the earliest limericks in which the last line was a complete repeat of the first) - to me this is a bit of a cheat and something I would never do.
              Yes I know all about prostate problems and visits to the nearest bush.

              • Robert Southwick Richmond

                With me it's not a prostate problem, it's those three or four mugs of coffee I start the morning with. - Limerick writers tend to be rather strict about the rime and meter. I've got half a dozen limericks into OEDILF (where I'm BobRichmond), and I got a lot of grief about my verse.

              • 2 more comments

              • Fay Slimm.

                ha ha - -the last one appealed to my sense of humour - thouigh have to admit I grinned at the others.......

                • Michael Edwards

                  Aw yer gotta smile aint yer - thanks Fay.

                • dusk arising

                  Tramp over there he's a itchin and a scratchin
                  you look down your nose, but you're just a watchin
                  would you walk in his shoes
                  he's got nothin to lose
                  'cept maybe one or two maggots he's a hatchin

                  • Michael Edwards

                    As for Trump = he doesn't need a wee - everyone has already taken the p**s out of him.

                  • Neville

                    tis those variants ya got to worry about .. or so they keep telling me ....

                    Stay safe Michael .... N

                  • Suresh

                    I thought I made sure, there was no one about.

                    Loved the first one.

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