LIMERICK 73 ( Plus 3 Variants )
You might see a tramp when you’re out and about
who stands in the bushes and gets out his spout.
Now it’s not a nice sight
but remember his plight:
when the bladder is weak the wee has to come out.
And the three runners-up are:
…...
it’s not a nice trait
but his bladder won’t wait
and desperate is he to let his wee out.
…….
which although disconcerting
when bladder is bursting
there’s no other option to let the wee out.
…...
you might find this bad
but please don’t get mad
for he’s no other means to let his wee out.
-
Author:
Michael Edwards (
Offline) - Published: January 11th, 2021 00:40
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 61
- Users favorite of this poem: Thomas J. Dooley
Offline)
Comments9
Good one(s) Michael.
Beautiful painting.
Thanks Andy
Well, I dunno lol. There's hundreds of names, but dunno if I've heard it called spout before! Would Miss B know these things? Good pic too.
Good name though entit?
I shall swoon every time I see a teapot now! lol.
What do you call a chipped spout?
A chip off the old, erm, block?
I was thinking circumcised !
Now I'm really in trouble with Miss Berles.
Ouch! And Shudder!
And there once was a tramp from near Barking
Who whipped out his (18+) for an airing;
For this offense he had to pay,
A constable took him away
With a knot in it for safekeeping.
Great picture - as usual, Michael.
Dave
Hey dave I like it. thanks for your kind words about the painting.
A bit of a cheat (and cheek) really Michael. the 'ing' is too easy a rhyme and although you make an argument for no strict adherence to poetry rules, I could certainly have done better with my syllable counts and scanning.
Anyway, so long as the message re picture hit the right spot...
Dave
a fun read Michael...
its all fun and games
until we all reach that certain age
and all we're left are endless nights
of knee entwined shuffles
to and from those horrid corridors
between us
and our white porcelain
of salvation...
And don't I know it? Cheers LB
I vote for the first version, not a classic limerick, but in consistent verse.
This old man rather often stands in the bushes and gets out his spout, and I'm not a tramp, though the pandemic has left me looking like one.
It depends what you mean by 'classic' - I don't always follow the strict 9-9-6-6-9 rule but then few poets do, and you know what I think about poetry rules - I am much more concerned with meter - or are you simply saying that although my No73 is consistent it's not that good? It follows the general construct of Lears poems who is reputed as putting the first collection together but he also didn't always follow the 9-9-6-6-9 rule and often repeated the same name/word in the first and last lines (probably a nod to some of the earliest limericks in which the last line was a complete repeat of the first) - to me this is a bit of a cheat and something I would never do.
Yes I know all about prostate problems and visits to the nearest bush.
With me it's not a prostate problem, it's those three or four mugs of coffee I start the morning with. - Limerick writers tend to be rather strict about the rime and meter. I've got half a dozen limericks into OEDILF (where I'm BobRichmond), and I got a lot of grief about my verse.
I feel for you - it seems to me that aficionados are usually so concerned with form that they fail to recognise good poetry when they see it. I bet those who gave you grief go apoplectic when they read Edward Lear - if they read him!
I shoul add that most of the limericks I've read on OEDILF are not that good from a readers perspective - for several different reasons which I could go on and on about.
OEDILF is a mad project. A lot of the limericks aren't funny. Looking at the new ones - they've now got as far as Ha - some of them don't work very well metrically, and it looks like their editorial standards may have bent under the weight of more than 100,000 limericks. They have the additional difficulty that they don't accept dirty limericks.
Edward Lear popularized the limerick form (though he didn't originate it), but he wasn't really very good at it, either.
ha ha - -the last one appealed to my sense of humour - thouigh have to admit I grinned at the others.......
Aw yer gotta smile aint yer - thanks Fay.
Tramp over there he's a itchin and a scratchin
you look down your nose, but you're just a watchin
would you walk in his shoes
he's got nothin to lose
'cept maybe one or two maggots he's a hatchin
As for Trump = he doesn't need a wee - everyone has already taken the p**s out of him.
tis those variants ya got to worry about .. or so they keep telling me ....
Stay safe Michael .... N
I thought I made sure, there was no one about.
Loved the first one.
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