Saxon Crow

Why Flies should Die!

I got the rotten buzzy thing
I caught it in my hand
Vengeance is mine
You noisey git
And now its pay back time 
Let's face it they're all smug little bastards
Zooming everwhere
Then landing on the nearest poo before taking to the air
Their feet tap dance upon your plate 
Of boiled beef, peas and carrots
There's organic but that's a stretch too far
When they've just walked around the toilet
And so fare well you little fly 
And contemplate your life
You've never been a friendly thing
And i suspect that you know why
But as i crush it slowly to death
I hear a little voice 
'help me!' it cries all mortified
'i don't want to die! 
I know I've led a sinful life and pissed off everyone. 
But I've seen the error of my ways and will be saintly from now on.'
So caught off guard by this declaration 
I loosen my deathly grip
And out escapes the sodding fly
Which spins around my head
And the last thing that i hear from it
As it dashes out my room 
Is 'Your hands are covered in the shit
 i just walked on in your loo!' 
Which just goes to show that forgiveness
Isn't all its cracked up to be
Cos now ive got a bloody fly probably pissing in my tea. 

 


Comments9

  • dusk arising

    Nasty critters aint they. And someone will tell ya, but theyre all god's creations..... feelin religious?

    Reach for the fly spray.

    Nicely written sir!

    • Saxon Crow

      Thanks Dusk. Yeah i had one buzzing around me yesterday and i actually caught it. Then this little ditty appeared in my head

    • Goldfinch60

      They can be a pain in the proverbial. Very good 'ditty' SC.

      Andy

    • Doggerel Dave

      Dear Sir,
      You are reliably informed that those small beasts do sterling work aiding in pollination (Important now the bee population is in decline),
      clear up rotting debris (rotting, are you?). Fly larvae have many uses – including in medicine…
      Until you have reached that state of evolution which allows you to fly to the ceiling and land upside down, might I suggest you treat these magnificent creatures with a trifle more respect.
      Sincerely,
      Dept of Health and industry

      PS: As I attempted to get my washing on the line today, that bloody fly tried to gain access to my mouth, nose, ears and eyes.. ( haven't had that much attention since...you don't want to know), got to find me hat with the dangly corks…
      Fun write, Sax – enjoyed v much..

    • Michael Edwards

      Love it - gave me an early morning smile.

    • orchidee

      They only live 3 weeks I read.
      Yet I will save things like snails that come out on damp days. Well, it can take them a while to cross the path!

    • Neil Higgins

      Don't tell Jeff Goldblum
      I too hate fly's.They eat their food,are sick,then eat it again!!
      Horrible, annoying "little bar-stewards" SC,but I agree with you:
      "Vengeance is mine"

    • The Uneducated O.A.P

      Our dog loves them, once she's locked in to one everything else is battered out of the way.
      Thanks for the grin obove me chin.

    • AuburnScribbler

      A beautifully written poetic documentary here Saxon Crow, about a most frustrating situation.

      This reminds of the time my Mother and I, had a stroll by a nearby marina a few summers back, and our arms became all you can eat buffets for "pond-midgets", let's just say that roll-on-repellents don't work, but Calamine lotion did become our friend the days following.

      Bravo, hope that you've got some decent bug spray in, and I hope all is well!

    • Teddy.15

      Sax, I had a good chuckle at this. lol



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