Not absent - still here!
Keep Calm and Carry On Poeming. 😂
Our Dad’s ambition was to emigrate;
Decided Australia was his goal.
Organised swimming lessons while we wait;
Head of our family, saw this his role.
A Sunday morning in cold November,
Tiled surfaces and heavy chlorine;
Victorian baths in all their splendor.
I learnt how to swim when not quite a teen.
Sometime later Dad did achieve this goal;
Still a young kid I was dragged along too:
Townsville North Queensland, a school, I enroll -
“Wednesday is sport – compulsory for you:
“There’s football and cricket, teams you’re not in
Until you can swim – so first we must test……”
(Cricket? - solid ball fired at my noggin…
Hard contact footy? I’m already stressed).
Olympic swimming pool beside the sea
Palm trees, fresh breeze - blissfully tropical;
Maybe this ruling might be right for me -
No cricket, no footy, no hospital.
And there you have it – go on, guess the rest:
Unable to swim Wednesday afternoon.
This talentless pupil failed every test:
“Yes Sir (teacher), I’ll get my rhythm soon…………..”
And so this continued, then the school offered golf and as my complexion was beginning to suffer (a wrinkly fifteen year old?) I somehow managed to pass.
Obligation free excerpt from my soon to be published three volume autobiography “I’ve Knocked About a Bit” Limited edition Moroccan leather bound $750; Paperback $300. Toilet roll texts $150 ea. Delivery extra. Orders taken now.
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Author:
Doggerel Dave (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: December 7th, 2021 03:54
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 26
- User favorite of this poem: Lorna.
Offline)
Comments7
I'm creased up here by your wit Dave - a veritable lifetime of beating the odds - when I win the pools here I 'll buy that toilet-roll edition of Queensland adventures you had as a teen........ great read my friend. Keep that ink flowing.
Oh Fay – you sound like you are about to qualify for a charity handout….. Look, since it’s you and only because it’s you I could quite possibly do you a special deal on the paperback – I won’t mention the leather deluxe product, because I don’t want to embarrass you….
I'll take a brace of them leather clad ones if you please ...................... 🙂
Sir, you are obviously a man of great discernment and taste. Difficulties at the print are likely to be resolved within the next couple of years.... objection to some of the material from the compositors, or whatever.....
Just made me laugh..... at college I had to pass a swim test or would have had to take swimming lessons - it was in Saratoga New York - where temperatures drops to minus 0 farenheit with ice and whipping wind and I would have had to walk 1/2 mile with wet head in winter - so determined to pass or die, I was under water most of the time ... made it half drowned. (I could swim but not a strong swimmer). Hardly ever had dinner there for the same reason. So I totally sympathize....
I have heard that New York in winter can be a pretty lethal experience, Lorna - so I think my UK experience was probably a walk in the park by comparison. Doesn't take away from the fact that I'd far rather have been allowed to stay in bed.......
Can I have a 'one-off' printed on the bonnet of Goldfinch's dream car please. Just call me a cheapskate.
Loved the poem.
Which piece would you like....modest fee involved...?... I'm sorta on your side but have to negotiate with GF further down the line... you may have to back me up with some extra funds if he turns nasty...
Glad you enjoyed...
👍😅
👌 👍
Wonderful amusing words DAve.
DON'T YOU DARE WRITE ON MY DREAM CAR FOR D A!!!
Andy
Thanks Andy.
Now you have to understand DA is pretty serious about this. What is to be done? Solution could involve non serial slightly used high denomination notes in plain brown envelope....only a suggestion....
Most of us have been there, but me personally never got that far. Let me know if you ever plan to print one for the “coffee table” edition, as I’m ashamed to ask for the toilet roll text.
Loved the humor.
Go on Suresh, forget the shame - I'll take whatever I can fleece you for....
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