A chef was busy cooking today
inside his Italian themed cafe
when all of a sudden
he fell in the oven
and sad to say he’s now pasta way.
An incontinent ghost called Barny Boo
was regularly seen upon the loo
but one day while sitting
and non-stop shitting
he turned inside out disappearing from view.
A randy young lass called Teddy
got out her doll called Freddy
she jumped on his front
with a groan and a grunt
and his winky went soft like spaghetti.
-
Author:
Michael Edwards (
Offline) - Published: April 1st, 2022 02:14
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 61
- Users favorite of this poem: L. B. Mek, Laura🌻
Offline)
Comments9
Three good fun writes Michael.
Andy
Oh lol good writes M.
Will Fido bark at 2 and 3? lol.
Yes - should have marked it 18+
You did make the ton - congrats, Michel. One can only await in anticipation to witness the response from the contributor immediately above to my intervention...Word of advice to whom it may concern: in this instance - move on and ignore my contribution entirely.
Yup - ton-up - more in the pipeline. Cheers DD
A flatulent poet called Bart
had a very theatrical part
when the curtain was raised
his behaviour was crazed
which gave the front row quite a start
an electricians mate called Izzy
had a bossman who kept him quite busy
when wiring a lamp
he was attaked by a cramp
there was a flash and his hair went all frizzy
an artificial insemnator from birmingham
upset his fine herd whilst he's worming-'em
being chased round the field
decreased their milk yield
and ruined his chance of squirtin sperm in-'em
a pussy cat breeder from slough
crossed a tomcat with a brown cow
it had claws big a horns
gives milk when it yawns
he didn't hang around to hear it mee-ow
I love the opportunity to make these up... keep 'em coming
All brilliant but No1 is my favourite.
a condom erector named nobby
had a really quite perculiar hobby
he whittled from wood
just whatever he could
and sold them in old abu-dhabi
Dusk – re your first effort:
Please forget about your artist named Bart
Who couldn’t manage a half decent fart;
Your real man was Le Pétomane
Who blew off without any strain
A Frenchman who was master of his art.
Yes, I resisted on purpose the temptation to use the most obvious rhyme FART. I thought the whole business of my writing limericks would be of interest to you since they are occasions when i do use rhyme along with a few other recent posts of both nursery rhyme type and other.
whilst not being one to displease
there's occasions i'm brought to my knees
when i last bared my bum
an occasion of fun
the farting contest at shittin-on-peas
Dusk_
Did you use the incognito name Bart
To then display a less obvious art
In that old town, Shittin- on- Peas
A place you felt very at ease
Where you chose your peas a la carte?
I guess Aus has taken it's toll
when doggerel replaces the drole
i can see youre in trouble
i'll throw you a shovel
you can now dig a much bigger hole
No hidden agendas to be found here;
I do these at will, don’t shoot from the rear -
Line lengths impeccable
Sloth unacceptable.
Your allusions are foggy and unclear.
Now you and your fan no longer engage
No longer up for a comedic exchange
And so you got tired,
No longer inspired
While your fan went off for a nappy change
it appears youve imagined behind your back
chins have been wagging, clackety clack
consult Mr Freud
look-up paranoid
yes you might want to see a quack about that
There’s no paranoia here, mate – get reality based.
The dynamic duo are at it again – what a waste;
One has the firm belief he’s a psychiatrist -
And is this a delusion on which you subsist?
His side-kick claims no engagement but does – ends up red faced.
(Slightly experimental - but still basic form AABBA, uniform line lengths and coherent).
Dear me Dave, keep digging mate, you're very good at it. Here - have another shovel for the next level.
So this is my exit line - you can go play with one another from now on: I hope it gives you much pleasure.
Rational? I think not;
Not even close to hot.
Don’t make no sense
That’s why you’re tense:
‘Cos you’ve quite lost the plot.
That's really good news Dave, now you can perhaps get down to using this website for what its designed for and write some poetry and not jumping into other peoples comments to one another to display your personal angst.
Poetry please.
lol
your lines, almost had me 'pasta way'
thank you for the chuckles, my friend
a great way
to setup us up, for a hopeful weekend
Thanks for the chuckles.take care
Cheers Dean
Thanks for the giggles! These are great!
They are fun aren't they.
Number 2 - did any hit the fan? Poor chap if it did - a football fan, for example!
Number 3 - is that Teddy Berles?
Michael,
I especially loved the first one.🤣
Happy to see the Modigliani inspired monotype, once again.
Thank you for sharing your writings and art.
Laura🌻
I'll pop them all on over the next week or so. Currently working on a large abstract and a large seaseape which are taking up all my spare time - both for the same client. Cheers Laura.
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