I remember it well to my woe and dismay
Ten years and it seems like yesterday
It was a sunny afternoon in a hot mid june
And I was having a quiet snooze in my little bedroom
Coming from my neighbour four doors along
Was the sound of music, a familiar song
I poked my head out to start to sing a long
How i wish i stayed indoors and remained where i was
For standing in the garden as bold as brass
Was Gertrude in her birthday suit
Baring her arse
To say she was all wrinkly is an understated claim
Her folds of ancient fat would put an elephant to shame
I think i must have screamed because then she turned around
And dear reader i won't describe
What my bleeding eyes had found
With arms held to the sky
She began to exercise
To a tune of chubby checker
It's amazing she's still alive
One bit went left while the other went right
Then she did some star jumps
Newton would have cried
Its impossible to explain
How her body managed to move
Amongst the swirling ripples
There must have been a groove
And there i was transfixed by all she had to show
I was powerless to resist the naked disco
And then to my relief the music finally stopped
I thought it was done
But boy was i wrong
With a finesse befitting
A whale stranded on the shore
She then bent over
Revealing so much more
And that's when i knew
My life would never be the same
So i checked into the asylum
Just to keep me safe
But every time 'lets twist again'
Comes on a radio show
I'm reminded of big, old Gertrude
In her birthday suit.
-
Author:
Saxon Crow (
Offline) - Published: August 13th, 2024 00:10
- Comment from author about the poem: For my friend Teddy. Hope you like it?!!
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 19
- Users favorite of this poem: Teddy.15
Offline)
Comments9
Great one SC - started my day with a laugh
Thanks Michael. Glad you enjoyed it.
Did you ever recover from the sight?! lol.
I will NEVER r cover from it Orchid. Not ever!
Good fun write SC.
When "Let' Twist Again" came out in 1961 my friend Gloria next door and I learnt the twist together, we were 12 and 13 at the time and Gloria and I still have the odd message on FaceBook..
Andy
Bet you're not as flexible now though.
Are you my next door neighbour?
Lol. Not anymore
Ha!
LoL oh this is wonderful, hey Gertrude sounds a lot of fun to me, loved the imagery and the wonderful comedy, bravo dearest Sax, that was a very fast peice of art you wrote here. Kudos my friend. Ps and the music was fab too. Ha ha ha 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Ps, let's twist again won't ever be the same again for me either lol 🌹 🌺🌹🌺🌹
Glad you liked it Teddy. Just for you ❤️
Your comedy muse is one of your best, never forget it, anyway I left loads for you so I look forward to more, anytime. You made my day dear friend. 🌹 A shout out to Dave because he got to the point, we all miss your wonderful comedy. 🌹
Shoosh, Teddy - gotta remain incognito.....
This one gave me a laugh and got the morning off to a smiling start. Nicely done
Thanks SB. Glad you liked it
You know this is so well penned and what’s.more it appealed greatly to my sense I of humour. What an eyeful you got :)) Mind boggling wobbling flesh;) Happy Tuesday.
Thanks Cassie. Just a bit of harmless fun. Also a challenge from Teddy.
Just "Newton would have cried" by itself sets this apart. Long writes like this can get tedious but not this; so well spoken. Very nice work.
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