Screw Top.

Doggerel Dave


Notice of absence from Doggerel Dave
Not absent - still here!
Keep Calm and Carry On Poeming. 😂

The title above tells you the story;

It’s about an item in all our lives.

The first encounter is just so hoary -

Immovable, no matter how one strives.

Though please don’t get carried away - no knives.

                                 ----------

Ok so now I’ve got that lever thing

And/or a backup with a rubber band;

(Instructions available – give me a ring)

Better than the knife; you’ve still got your hand.

Do message me and open every brand.

                               ---------

But a problem – closure and reopen:

This trouble I can really do without.

‘Mansplaining’ sometimes seen as misspoken,

But this is a problem for all no doubt;

Gendered advice is not what this is about:

                               ----------

Closure after is quite simple to do:

The top replacement should be backward, slow

Until settled position is felt by you,

Then forward clockwise will be all the go

With trouble free opening now you know….

  • Author: Doggerel Dave (Pseudonym) (Offline Offline)
  • Published: September 11th, 2024 02:30
  • Comment from author about the poem: Cross threaded screw tops – aaah! Though I’ve had trouble explaining the principle in the past…..
  • Category: Unclassified
  • Views: 23
  • Users favorite of this poem: sorenbarrett
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Comments +

Comments9

  • Neville



    You need an angle grinder mate .. problem halved .. 🙂

    • Doggerel Dave

      But with respect Sir, problem not solved...........!

    • sorenbarrett

      Not only have I been anticipating your next release but you hit upon a subject that I have had recent encounters with. You made me laugh Dave and that deserves a fave.

      • Doggerel Dave

        Thanks Soren - I tried to make it light, but this First World Problem is very real, as it seems you are aware...

      • Cheeky Missy

        Mansplaining is a term one of my brothers introduced to me while carrying on his usual conversation, throwing it in as if to add extra flavor. And if I never dreamed such a topic as you've chosen could be grand for this genre, thank you for showing me. Delightfully rendered with excellent details and a a delicious poignancy and humor. Thank you for sharing.

        • Doggerel Dave

          You are more than welcome, Missy. Even I can be surprised at what I dig up when I put my back into it.

        • Cassie58

          Being in this position can cause a certain amount of aggravation. I have never resorted to knives. Reading about YOU however Dave, I couldn’t help but smile. My solution, I have a man who can. An engineer in the house helps:) Hope your day has been trouble free. A fun write.

          • Doggerel Dave

            Come on Cassie – You surely don’t call him for assistance every time you want to put the top back on a bottle or jar?........... Neva leave the kitchen, my dear – the world is far too complicated for you out there….🤣😇🙃

            • Cassie58

              Tut tut. He spends far more time in the kitchen than me and is an ace at changing Hoover bags and putting out the rubbish. Anything remotely technical is his department. lol.

              • Doggerel Dave

                But the Jar.... the bottle...? However hoover bags and especially the rubbish... I could do with a General factotum like that around my place...think I'll have to wait for the robots....

              • Thad Wilk

                Awesome poem and
                story! 😲
                Kinda sad yet funny! 🤣
                Sounds like cross threaded
                Screw tops, you
                Needed a collage degree ¿?¿
                Thanks for sharing with me...
                Best regards ✌️ Thad
                😁

                • Doggerel Dave

                  Thanks Thad. No college degree here - just a loose and flexible wrist action with grip....... 😇

                • Goldfinch60

                  I have a glass cutter Dave to cut the tops off. |LOL

                  Andy

                  • Doggerel Dave

                    You sound like you are of similar mind to a poet here name of Neville. Are you in collusion, or do you need an introduction?🤣

                    • Goldfinch60

                      Yes we are in collusion Dave. LOL

                      Andy

                    • 2781

                      You need a jar and bottle opener for seniors. Very affordable and a must for the draw. Beware though, some are better than others.

                      • Doggerel Dave

                        I know - tried 'em all, I think For lever jobs the 'Jarkey' is the business; the threaded jobs nothing beats a good old rubber band....

                      • Teddy.15

                        The title above tells you the story, if this is the case why did you bother to write the rest? LoL 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣
                        Keep calm and Carry on dearest David, I'm only screwing with you. 🇮🇹🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇮🇹🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇮🇹🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣🤗

                        • Doggerel Dave

                          But why would you want to? I think you have worked with children for too long😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣🤗🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣lol🤣

                          • Teddy.15

                            Children love to laugh that's for sure. 🌹

                          • Doggerel Dave

                            But do they know when to laugh and to laugh appropriately without name calling? I don't particularly wish this to degenerate into a feud, so let's cease this now.🕊️ ?

                            • Doggerel Dave

                              No reply? that's the way it goes I suppose....



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