Now lookie here, humans

orchidee

Now lookie here, humans

I had a check before I got online today

'Verifying you are human'

I got the result: 'Success'

 

Dunno how they let me in

Cos I'm half human, half guinea pig

And have to repeat it yet again - 

My pic is of guinea pigs

Not mice, rats, jerboas, hamsters

Nor elephants, giraffes, rhinos, lions

(some random creatures there)

Nothing but guinea pigs - two of 'em!

 

They're not flying pigs

Though with repeating myself so many times

I'm seeing flying pigs going past my window! LOL

 

Since when were you fully human? asks Fido of me

Oh, about 10 million years ago, I think

I mutated into half g/pig, half human

About 2 million years ago!

 

It's all true this, ya know!

HEE HEE

 

 

  • Author: orchidee (Offline Offline)
  • Published: March 14th, 2025 12:10
  • Comment from author about the poem: Did you have 'success' if you had the 'verifying you are human' screen? LOL. If so, are ya really human?!
  • Category: Humor
  • Views: 27
  • Users favorite of this poem: Cheeky Missy, Tristan Robert Lange, GenXer Shamrocker ☘️
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Comments +

Comments8

  • Cheeky Missy

    It's a remarkably secret ploy whereby the nonhumans congratulate themselves on having fooled the zombie masses. Naturalich, it works without fail. Glad to know you're so loveable.

    • orchidee

      Thanks CM. Erm, what if a robot got in sneakily? What sort of poems would it wrote?

      • Cheeky Missy

        Familiar, remarkably similar pieces to the actual cogitations of the humans, but of course.

      • sorenbarrett

        Now Orchi we know that they are really Cavia porcellus and that Guinea pig is just a nickname. A fun read my friend

      • David Wakeling

        yeah I used to be human but I now have a mechanical heart and so I guess I am robot.Great poem Fun read

        • orchidee

          Thanks D. How did you get in to this site?! lol.

        • arqios

          Good write O🙏🏻🕊a bit late in posting today?🕊🙏🏻

          • orchidee

            Thank you A. Yes, bit busy with odds and ends. A bit of a dry patch on hymn-poems, so I post humour/rubbish/mad adventures for now. lol.

            • arqios

              All good O🙏🏻🕊️

            • Tristan Robert Lange

              Those silly bot checkers! They're kind of like "bear proof" dumpsters here in the States. They bears get in with no problem, while the humans are stuck trying how to figure out the latch. 🤣 Enjoyed this, my friend!

              • orchidee

                Thank you T. Would the mother-in-law have got in? Is she human? lol.

                • Tristan Robert Lange

                  🤣 Mine is cool as hell and totally human. But I hear that's not always the case. 😜

                • Goldfinch60

                  Yes I too am human, the computer said so. LOL

                  Andy

                  • orchidee

                    Thank you Gold, Phew, that's a relief! lol.

                  • Poetic Licence

                    The mutant guinea pig that's a scary thought, enjoyed the read

                    • orchidee

                      Thank you PL. Yes, scary - but some need to go to Specsavers! This is my umpteenth time of mentioning they are g/pigs. lol.

                      • Poetic Licence

                        Just goes to show not everyone reads properly, have a great weekend

                      • Doggerel Dave

                        Stop Press: You don't exist. Inhabited my nightmares for years........ aaah!

                        • orchidee

                          Thanks Dave. lol. I'm all NS and non-existent.



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