I wanted to be alone,
Wasn’t that my dream?
I just wanted some space
Wasn’t that my scheme?
I wanted to leave you
Yet now I feel so bare
I thought I’d be happy
I thought I wouldn’t care
Solitude isn’t what I thought
I don’t feel free at all
Instead of flying high
I just jump and fall
I should have realized before
You meant the world to me
You were everything I wasn’t
Yet all I wanted to be
Loneliness cannot compare
To your love and kindness
Yet I am lonely without love
Forever cursing my blindness
For how could I have not seen?
It was forever in plain sight
I thought everything was wrong
But everything was right
I thought it was odious hate
That surged through my heart
When really it was love
That I felt from the start
A love that lasts forever
Through miles of storm and rain
Throughout being alone
And all of the hurt and pain
I miss you more than ever
Now that you’re gone for good
And I want to be with you
More than I probably should
But that’s impossible now
For I wanted to be alone
And that’s what I got
If only I had known
-
Author:
Emi (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: July 17th, 2011 10:14
- Category: Sad
- Views: 51
- Users favorite of this poem: Cheeky Missy
Offline)
Comments3
Thought-provoking and again, very fascinating. It expresses the experience aptly, poignantly evoking a reminder of folly repented too late. We frequently realize our mistakes when it is too late unfortunately. One point I disagree on though, stanza 7, it could not have been but hatred that wanted the separation, seems to me. Now in the loss the speaker cannot but long impossibly for a renewal, but it was indeed odious hate that drove the dagger through. Love would not have done it. Self-love, mayhap craves the return for formerly detested affection, whereas true love never would have crushed it. There's my two bits, for whatever their worth. Anyway.
Thank you. 🙂 I see your point... Though perhaps it wasn't hatred, but rather anger? Self-love also sounds reasonable. But it seems like hate might not have been what caused it, for in my opinion, you cannot truly hate someone that you truly love.
That is the subtlety of self-love.....it can readily hate the lover, yet love and grieve the loss of affections caused by its own hatred. Therefore it will hate the lover and push them away, then miss their wonderful love and desire them back only for what the Self can get from that proffered love. If true love existed at all in the hypothetical situation here, it may be reckoned as true self-love on the speaker's part, as well as maybe true love lost from the recipient of the message. In other words the lost love may have truly loved, but the speaker only loved himself ("he/him" being the neuter pronoun when the gender is undetermined). So far as I can see. Thanks for your kind response and for discussing it with me.
Oh my cheese.
That was a very nice poem, I've always read about ones where someone leaves you, but now it's the other way around 😛
Haha thanks. 🙂
wow! this poem reflects on my past, very inspiring poem. i love the way it is structured
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