As the sun rises
The light of my world brightens,
Shadows grow darker.
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Author:
Goldfinch60 (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: May 21st, 2017 01:28
- Comment from author about the poem: A haiku for a change.
- Category: Haiku
- Views: 20
Offline)
Comments8
A fine write. Hope only the shadows grow darker, and not your night. In a positive way, I mean.
Thanks Orchi, it is meant to be read however you would like to interpret it.
If you added "So" to the beginning of the poem I think it would make it more reflective . Excellent words , great image
Thanks for your comment but is I added so it would no longer be a haiku and I am quite pedantic where haiku and senryu are concerned.
Thanks ANDY ~ Love your riposte to SWINGLINE ~ You have been hoisted with your own HAIKU ! What i would do is add SO to line ONE ~ delete THE from line TWO maintaining the 17 SYLLABI with a 6 6 5 HAIKU ~ A 666 is of course a Demon Haiku ~ TOUCHE ! Every 24 hours ~ All over the World ~ Sunrise / Sunset ~ There is a GOD ! Thanks for caring ~ BRIAN ~ OR "SO AS RISES SUN " # etc ~ maintaining the sacred 575 and it sounds more Oriental ! B.
Good haiku thanks for giving us something to think on today
Thanks Fay. Please don't think too hard - thinking i bad for you
Great piece = love it just as it is.
Thank you Michael.
Very nice write!
Many thanks rr.
Have brightened my day. Thanks.
May your days always be bright.
Very good sir.
Very good....
Thank you very much PH, you are most kind.
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