Goldfinch60

Sunlight - Haiku.

As the sun rises

The light of my world brightens,

Shadows grow darker.

Comments8

  • orchidee

    A fine write. Hope only the shadows grow darker, and not your night. In a positive way, I mean.

    • Goldfinch60

      Thanks Orchi, it is meant to be read however you would like to interpret it.

    • swingline

      If you added "So" to the beginning of the poem I think it would make it more reflective . Excellent words , great image

      • Goldfinch60

        Thanks for your comment but is I added so it would no longer be a haiku and I am quite pedantic where haiku and senryu are concerned.

      • BRIAN & ANGELA

        Thanks ANDY ~ Love your riposte to SWINGLINE ~ You have been hoisted with your own HAIKU ! What i would do is add SO to line ONE ~ delete THE from line TWO maintaining the 17 SYLLABI with a 6 6 5 HAIKU ~ A 666 is of course a Demon Haiku ~ TOUCHE ! Every 24 hours ~ All over the World ~ Sunrise / Sunset ~ There is a GOD ! Thanks for caring ~ BRIAN ~ OR "SO AS RISES SUN " # etc ~ maintaining the sacred 575 and it sounds more Oriental ! B.

      • Fay Slimm.

        Good haiku thanks for giving us something to think on today

        • Goldfinch60

          Thanks Fay. Please don't think too hard - thinking i bad for you

        • Michael Edwards

          Great piece = love it just as it is.

        • rrodriguez

          Very nice write!

        • Augustus

          Have brightened my day. Thanks.

          • Goldfinch60

            May your days always be bright.

          • P.H.Rose

            Very good sir.
            Very good....

            • Goldfinch60

              Thank you very much PH, you are most kind.



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