Have you ever stayed awake at night and stared at the ceiling? 
Have you ever had big dreams, but couldn't catch them?
Have you ever screamed so loud and still nobody could hear you?
Have you ever laughed at the face of death and then went home that same night and cried yourself to sleep? 
Have you ever just wanted to end it all, have you ever tried?

I have.

No I don't hate myself, actually I'm quite "in love" with myself.
I'm not ugly, I'm smart, I actually have a lot going for me It's just I have this flaw, This flaw seems to push people away but I just cannot put my finger on it.
I mean I care about everyone,
I literally try my hardest to keep peace in my life.
Yes I've made mistakes but I've done everything in the book to redeem them, so what is it?

My whole life has been a struggle from within.
I've always had this inside of me, this Demon.
I help everyone, I love everyone, but everyone always ends up leaving me. It's like I'm cursed with this power of healing, but in return I suck up all the bad energy, or is this just my karma finally catching up to me?

I've been raped, I've hurt, I've pulled knives, guns, I've robbed, I'm an alcoholic, I've ran from the police, I've loved the wrong person. I've been used, abused, tortured, I've been held down by my throat! Murdered from the inside.... My Karma.... My Karma was to lose everything I have and love...

My Karma was to start a new because the people I thought I loved, didn't love me.
They were part of this on going trauma. God sent someone my way with a back bone because let's face it, I'm a warrior. It takes the bravest, and strongest to get me to listen, and because of my stubbornness, and lack of communication with god, he has sent me the big banger and it's 2018.


  • Author: Tiffany.A (Pseudonym) (Offline Offline)
  • Published: May 31st, 2017 01:37
  • Comment from author about the poem: My rough draft, thoughts?
  • Category: Reflection
  • Views: 92
  • User favorite of this poem: Tiffany_Arnold.
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  • orchidee

    A fine write. I'm being silly - who is the Karma guy (or gal)? I don't know him (or her)! lol.

    • Tiffany_Arnold

      What could I do to make it better? This is my first copy.😌

    • orchidee

      I find most people's poems are 'good enough as they are'. That's what you've written, rhyming or not. It doesn't have to rhyme. We each have our own style.

    • alisha

      this is amazing

      • Tiffany_Arnold

        Wow thank you ❤️❤️

        • alisha

          no problem x
          i've made a poem about karma as well, you should check it out <3

        • 2 more comments

        • swingline

          Poetry is emotions in motion . As long as you relate your emotions and feelings to the reader the poem is a success . While spelling (is it raped or rapped) is a good thing and prevents misunderstanding it can be overlooked and often is . Structure and rhyme shows the poet has discipline but again not necessary to moving one's emotion . The ultimate judge should be you . Do you like it , can you make it better , are you satisfied . Often new ways of expression in poetry does not catch on for sometime before it gains popularity .Just concentrate of putting your emotion and insight out for everyone to see . If they like it good and if they don't then it's their problem .

          • Tiffany_Arnold

            Thank you so much 😌

            • swingline

              And you poem definitely moves people's emotions . Gives good insight into your life .

            • 1 more comment

            • BRIAN & ANGELA

              WELCOME TIFFANY (Nice name & photo !) Thanks for your first. It is presented in Modern Free Verse with plenty of flow and an interesting content' I like the fact that you have divided it int five neat STANZAS which makes it easier and more interesting to read. The content is gripping and an honest account of your life ~ so far ! STANZA !> Mot of us have been there but i have only contemplated suicide ONCE ! S2. Is encouraging except for the repulsion ~ whic annoys you and rightly so ! S3. We all experience inner struggles and have to come to terms with our inner KARMA ! S4. Quite an horrendous list ! My list is different (because I am Male)..My MOM taught me to always be very gentle with LADIES but soem FEMALES can be quite aggressive to MEN. I like your stark frankness ~ good writing ! S5. We can all be transformed by God's Holy Spirit ~ who can give us Love ~ Peace ~ Joy etc. I have GOD in my life and my KARMA is now much CALMER ! GOD has given you a Son which is a great blessing and provide you with an infinite focus for GOOD ! Thinking of you ~ Praying for you ~ BRIAN (UK) .

              • Tiffany_Arnold

                Wow I did not expect all this awesome feed back thank you so much!!!

                • BRIAN & ANGELA

                  ITS a pleasure TIFFANY ~ Being a Gentleman ~ if I had a rel big criticism to make i would have sent it as a PRIVATE COMMENT ~ OK ! Some members ~ just write a piece of continuous PROSE which is not a POEM. Yours was genuine Modern Free Verse and spaced into STANZAS each of which introduced another facet of your complex KARMA ! Were you born in MINNESOTA ? ~ A great State to be in ~ Love all those LAKES " Yours BRIAN

                • Louis Gibbs

                  Welcome to MPS, Tiffany. We can use all of the honest, 'life lessons' poetry we can get. You have chosen a life full of them, to your credit. The point, of course, is what have you taught yourself from them. I sense your inner beauty, hang in there, you are worth it.

                • Tony36

                  Great write

                • Gary Edward Geraci

                  Way to go Tiffany on your first post. You possess a beautiful and writing poetry is going to expose it to world in a way that brings you dignity and well being for a change. Chart your coarse in prose and verse dearest sister.

                • Goldfinch60

                  Good strong write. This works as poetry, in my humble opinion, is a way of putting your emotions onto the page and this you have done very well. Welcome to MPS.

                  • Tiffany_Arnold

                    Thank you for your feedback!! 😌

                  • Tamara Beryl Latham - The Poet

                    Nicely done Tiffany. You've clearly expressed your feelings adequately in this write. 🙂

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