The stairs are quite steep
A naked bulb lights the way.
The door is unlocked.
Entering the room
Her hesitant voice calls out
He left her a note.
A cry of despair
Her heart was made of crystal
It lies in fragments.
-
Author:
Michael Edwards (
Offline) - Published: August 1st, 2017 00:01
- Comment from author about the poem: A quick write yesterday following Brian's posting
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 38
Offline)
Comments8
A fine write Michael.
Cheers O
Michael, your writing astonishes me. These three senryus are great. And since a senryu is supposed to contain some humor or satire, I am still debating which way you went.
Thanks Fred. I find it a bit confusing as I have looked at several definitions of a Senryu and they are not very consistent. One thing they do seem to agree is that they should be in the present tense and should reflect some form of human emotion. Humour and satire is not a consistently referred to.
Anyway putting this aside I did come across a discussion on you Tube which put forward the idea that Haikus in the west didn\'t always follow the strict Japanese rules partly because of the difference in language but also to give more liberty to the writer. They called them Liberated Haikus which I rather like. I guess the same goes for Senryus.
So these are Liberated Senryus.
Should have added that strictly they are stand-alone poems and each of the above does stand in its own right - but they are put together as a collection as they have a common theme,
You are so right Michael, and they do have a common theme, and somehow they follow each other as well. Kind of like a Senryu soap opera!
These three beguiling Sens. make me want more Michael - good work.
Thank you fay - must sharpen my pen.
Good emotive write.
I have no idea what a senryus
Is Michael, I just love the poem
It's content and my imagination
Being used when reading
I guess you don't have to understand classical forms - the point of poetry is to communicate and it seems that I have at least achieved this - thank you so much PH.
Thanks MICHAEL and what you say in comment is TRUE. The JAPANESE HAIKU is a very sacred Art Form as is the SENRYU & TANKA.
English HAIKU ~ SENRYU ~ TANKAS are indeed LIBERATED (Age of Aquarius) but I like to adhere to the 17 syllable rule and line pattern (575 for H & S) and 31 ~ 57577 pattern for T's ! Linked or serial H S & T's) are quite common but (as you say) each should stand alone. Thanks for sharing ~ Perfect Senryu ~ Perfect topic (the ANGST of love !) and each one complete in itself and yet a perfect trilogy. This SITE is becoming more CLASSICAL each day ! Please check "A DAID ARMYDILLY" (Written and sung by COLBUSAF) ~ It has won my Roadkill Award for Poem of the Day ! Love MPS (despite one glitch) it gets better every day ~ Yours BRIAN
Thanks Brian - your comments appreciated as always.
You dedicated students of the fine art of poetry leave me feeling a little inadequate, and admiring your knowledge of our craft. Once I understood these to be three, I could appreciate the beauty of them. Kudos, Michael!
Thanks Louis for your kind encouragement - it means a lot.
Touching.
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