And now - for something completely different
As they say - or said, in that prog some years ago!
Hey, how did you know it was me
Moved over with you (some of you)
From a previous poetry site?
It's not exactly defunct
But gone into some sort of re-construction, me thinks
Not heard a dickie-bird from it for months
As to whether it's starting up again yet!
Well, ya know it's me - or some guy - do ya know him?
The secret - or not-so-secret
Pork pie eater and sherry drinker
You knows him - the guy who
Adds water to ya whisky, or wine, or whatever tipple
There he is.......
'Psssttt' - hear his syphon?
It's only ever got water in it!
He'll sneak around when you're asleep
And add water to it
Oooh, he can't have anything 'exciting'
And he'll swoon at anything remotely 'hot'
(So ya knows how ya could get rid of him now!
Just write a 'hot' poem!)
Oh, but he dunno what he's on about
Thinks he is millions of years old
Thinks he was at The Battle of Hastings in 1066 in person!
Ahh, and he wants to know things
Such as -
Have they found Minnie Caldwell's cat on Corrie?
Cos he last watched it about 1963
Or - have they arrested that bunch of daffodils
That shot Dirty Den on Eastenders?
Cos he last watched that about 1990
He'll be quaint - greet ya with a loud 'Ccooeeee'
He means well - just humour him if ya sees him!
Tee Hee Hee
A bit more - oohhh!
Now I just added this P.S.
To warn ya about something so ghastly
I can hardly speak of it
But there it is - in the UK at least, like a plague...
Every weekday -
The next episode of 'Neighbours'!
Me protests - but never enough
That I refuse to watch a programme
With someone in it called 'Toadfish'!
Sounds like some alien monstrosity
What's that? - it is! You're correct. lol.
-
Author:
orchidee (
Offline) - Published: August 11th, 2017 10:18
- Comment from author about the poem: A daft poem in no metre whatsoever! It might be a penta-wotsit, or iambic-thingummy. It's no use asking the author. He's had too much sherry at the mo!
- Category: Humor
- Views: 29
Offline)
Comments9
Hi Outback. This probably took no thinking at all! lol.
I think we moved over from the same site when it shut down, orchidee ... a blessing in disguise I would say! It didn't begin to compare with this one in my humble opinion. Enjoyed this delve into a free style of poetry. It allows one more spontaneous expression than following a specific format, doesn't it.
Thanks Louis.
Have you still got Matha Longhurst's Knitting?
Ahh yes lol. Thanks b-e.
Very unusual orchidee! And, entertaining!
Thanks WBL. Nuttiness abounds!
Sherrified pissifications methinks - but a load of fun.
Thanks M.
So the true Porchi outs at last. I warn you if you come near my scotch I will come and take all your pork pies. I was with you back in time and I did tell you not to strike that match as that "BIG BANG" started something that has never stopped.
Thanks G/F heehee. Yes, I been lurking in the background! Did either of us light a match in 1605 too? Would old Guy Fawkes never have been found out otherwise?
The terrifying thing about this, is that the 'P.S.' bit is true! Yes?!
The terrifying thing about this, is that the 'P.S.' bit is true! Yes?!
This is why I'm here! Stuff like this makes me smile and pat myself on the back. You've done us all a service with this one Orch. Lovely stuff, even if it required no thinking lol.
Thanks N. lol.
To be able to comment and rate this poem, you must be registered. Register here or if you are already registered, login here.