Nine hundred and fifty years ago,
On this very day ,
There we were, Orchi and I,
Sitting on Hastings beach,
Minding our own business,
Just eating some pork pies.
Me drinking my whisky,
WITHOUT WATER!
Orchi drinking his sherry.
I was trying to explain to Orchi
The meaning of
Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia,
While He was trying to say
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.
We looked out to sea,
There approaching were these boats
Loaded with men,
All had swords and spears,
And one had a bow and arrow.
Behind us horses were galloping,
They came to us on the beach.
Harold was there,
He asked if he could have a pie,
Orchi declined,
Saying “Pigs will fly
Before I release a pie!”
He pointed into the sky
And said to Harold,
“See that flying pig!”
I had always told Orchi
That pointing was rude,
And in this case,
It was dangerous!
As Harold fell from his horse
An arrow in his eye.
And that was the day
That Orchi said to me
“Give me a scotch, without water!”
Out of the kindness of my heart
I gave Orchi a SMALL scotch.
He fell to the ground
Shouting “Alas poor Yorick
I knew him well, fill up the walls
With your English dead Romeo”
From that day Orchi and context
Have never been the same,
And water always goes in his scotch.
-
Author:
Goldfinch60 (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: September 21st, 2017 01:17
- Comment from author about the poem: Some of you may be confused about Orchidee and my odd references to the Battle of Hastings or 1066. Orchi and I met on a different poetry site a few years ago and became friends. In the tales of our lives we always refer to us being older than time and have written many words in the passed about what we did throughout many ages, including when we had dinosaurs as pets! Apart from our warped sense of humour we are both serious Church goers and we have many private discussions about this. The main talking point to MPS though is the Battle of Hastings in 1066 whose nine hundred and fiftieth anniverary was October 14th 2016, that is when I put this poem on the other, now deceased, poetry site. Orchi and I hope you enjoy this.
- Category: Humor
- Views: 67
Offline)
Comments10
Tee hee, we're barmy! lol.
Wish I'd been there with you - on the other site that is - I was at the battle - I was tea boy. Love this piece and when I see daft humour I know all's well with the world.
Thank you Michael, so very true about daft humour.
It wasn't you putting water in my Scotch was it! You obviously had access to water!
Yes that was another of my duties - latrine monitor!
You two guys are a riot! The Laurel and Hardy of MPS! Great write, enjoyed it!
Thanks Fred, and thank you for the complement, Laurel and Hardy are superb.
So, which one of the two are you?
I am the thinker.
Very, very good answer!!!!!! Goldfinch, when you're good, you're good, what can I say!
Can just imagine the play for attention at that battle of Hastings between two good friends
Thanks Fay, we did hide when they were looking for somebody to blame!
1066 And all That ~ Another area of UK Homour which (like Cricket) baffles our Brethren across the Pond. I was UNCLE HAROLD'S dress adviser and having just acquired my FIRST HARLEY I advised him to wear a Crash Helmet with Vizor ! He replied ~ I want them to see the "WHITES O' ME EYES" ~ and they did !
On his gravestone I wrote
'AROLD on is ' ORSE
with is 'AWK in is 'AND
and a HARROW (he was well educated )
in is HEYE ~ RIP
Thanks for the memory BRIAN The BULLSHI**ER
Thanks Brian we did notice you but took no notice of you just the same,
I must say I found this piece quite baffling and brilliantly funny. I love it. Bravo!!
Thank you Seeker, this is very English humour which I am glad that you appreciated.
Will anyone ever guess our real ages, G/F?! Oohh, some other were there too then! heehee.
Nobody can count up high enough to guess our ages.
Good humor I'm sure though I must admit I feel I'm missing something . Glad to see you having fun
Thank you for your comment WL, it is our strange British sense of humour that some people just do not understand but yes we are having fun.
I say it is a good humorous writing even though a don't understand it.
Ohh, it's us being daft Malu! Odd things that have somehow come together - 1066, pork pies, sherry, me adding water to whisky, etc. lol.
Ok. I get it.
Thank you Mal.
Quote "mmm mmm another fine mess you've gotten me into orchi"
and what was harold steptoe doing on the beach anyway?
Harold Steptoe was trying to avoid his father, Albert!
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